Ever wondered why a specific tone of voice can send you through the roof, or why you want to shrink away when a certain person walks into the room? Does your family want to stick you in the shed outside because you get surly every September? You may not realize it, but these could be flashbacks.
It is usually assumed that flashbacks develop after an extreme trauma like war, assault, or a life-threatening crash. The person must endure a replay of the event, fully immersed in the worst moment of the trauma as if it is happening in the present. These excruciating periods of sheer hell do exist but that is not the only form flashbacks take. They can be forms of dissociation or panic attacks, or subtler types like the emotions of dread, fear, anxiety, and shame. Flashbacks in the latter categories rarely have accompanying images or recognized as memories so a person is left with unnerving distress, confusion about “why” they are feeling/behaving a certain way, and clarity. Whatever form it takes, the single most important component is the inability to experientially separate the past from the present.
It’s understandable that these nuanced forms go unrecognized. The triggers themselves can be hard to spot because they may be commonplace or even undetectable: a facial expression, a specific word, a tone of voice, a smell, an age, gender, time of day, or even a time of year can serve this purpose. Whatever the cue, the flashback comes on suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, taking the person by surprise. It is also hard to spot a flashback when the trauma itself is not recognized, such as events that are repeatedly experienced or seen as part of life. (See my article on Big T versus Small t traumas). There are some traumas we can all relate to: repeatedly enduring criticism/shame, being deliberately left out/rejected, or dealing with a string of broken promises. While they may be familiar to many, we cannot ignore that for some, they leave a legacy of pain. Finally, flashbacks may fly under the radar because they do not come on as sudden eruptions, but lingering disruptions. Frequent feelings of inadequacy, social anxiety, shame spirals, or visceral aversions to trusting others are examples. An expert in the field, Janina Fisher, refers to these as chronic flashbacks. Whether dramatic or parasitic, these intrusive, re-experienced memories range from unnerving to debilitating.
Trauma research has unearthed fascinating information about our beautiful, complex brains and nervous systems that offers some explanation. The front part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, is where our sensations, emotions, thoughts, and images are integrated into a meaningful narrative. During a time of threat, this area goes offline, freeing us to act out of instinct without being bogged down with attempts to reflect. For example, my brain does not care if the shark I am suddenly swimming with is one that finds me tasty….. it only cares that I survive. My body will catapult me out of the water so I can go pant, scream, and possibly throw up. Once the danger has past, the prefrontal cortex will resume functioning, but it will not have access to the traumatic chunk of history. Instead, the memory will be stored as disconnected data; a record of what happened absent of any ability to retrieve or understand it.
The good news is healing is possible. It starts by recognizing when a flashback is occurring, not some indication of madness. Even though it feels like the danger is real, there remains recognition that this is really an echo of what has already happened. With the help of therapy, the work also includes identifying triggers, gathering up memory shards that offer clues to the experience it is connected to, clarifying what the body needs to realize the past is over, and creating new experiences that promote a sense of safety. It is work, but with support, patience, and perseverance, it’s possible to find solid footing in what has felt like chaos. If this kind of work is something you are interested in, please feel free to contact me.
Meanwhile, for those who have not had to endure flashbacks but know someone who does, this information is also for you. Even with good intentions, beware of any messages that suggest to someone highly upset that their experience is not real or they are overreacting. You might suddenly find yourself locked out of the house staring at a “do not disturb” sign hanging on the door.