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Getting the Most Out Of Therapy: Part 1
There is that moment of clarity when you realize it’s time to get the support and expertise therapy provides. It is a decision that says you are a priority worth investing in, dedicating time, resources, and your heart to the process. For some, they are well-versed in this unique partnership. For others, it’s a new frontier that is unfamiliar and sometimes even intimidating. In my case, hopefully my warmth, staff of stuffed animals, and tendency to kick off my shoes will soon put you at ease so it feels safe enough share those private parts of your life. However, this is not a time to sit back and absorb another’s wisdom and follow everything recommended (although I understand the temptation). Instead, I encourage you to take an active role to ensure you get the most out of this partnership. In the next two articles, I will provide ideas of how to do just that.
Goals
Be clear about what you need and hope to accomplish. Ideally, this begins as early as the intake paperwork, a time where you can narrow down the messy factors going on into something concise and realistic. The first session or two then becomes a conversation where needs are placed into meaningful steps. As the work progresses, these goals will evolve so regular check ins are advised.
Focus
Now that goals are clear, make an intentional commitment to work on these regularly. In session, bring in a notebook to write down insights, thoughts to chew on, and any potential homework. Refer to these regularly between sessions. Therapy is only an hour out of your week so for change to occur, time is needed to try on a given perspective, enhance what has been discussed with further exploration, and practice.
Prior to a session, review your notes. This will help clarify what has evolved, what has stagnated, and anything that got in the way. Knowing that a lot can happen from one session to the next, I never assume that where we left off is where we will start the next time.
Prepare
Give yourself some time before session to deepen into this special time you’ve dedicated to your health. The moment you walk into the therapist’s office or sit down for telehealth, there are no chores to do, no conversations to take care of, nor any social media to engage with. All the pressures get to be put on hold! Enjoy the space to “just be.” Breathe, experience the room, and fully soak in the present moment.
As the noise clears away, it is not uncommon for wisdom or urgent issues to emerge and reveal how best to use the time together. It’s not uncommon for a variety of needs to surface that may not be attached to your goal. There is absolutely room to pivot. However, if you find that this is a regular occurrence, the goals may need to be revisited. Don’t worry if you cannot prioritize what emerges because help is just a few moments away.
Ongoing Self-Care
The is no question that self-care creates resiliency against mental health hardships. It also makes sure you have time to restore, create balance between dealing with issues and enjoying what the world has to offer, and further your efforts to treat yourself in loving ways. The following are a few ways this might be done: healthy sleep habits, laughter, play, meditating, structure, boundaries, novelty, nutrition, exercise, and snuggling with a loved one. (One of mine is furry and purrs ) For a new take on the statement made in the movie The Shining, “All work and no play…. makes us burdened and crabby.”
Take agency to make therapeutic work what you need it to be. A therapist is there with training and wisdom, but you are the expert of your life. Let’s make this a partnership with you in the driver’s seat so you can enjoy the rewards of relief, resiliency, and new horizons.
Playing With Your Meds
Fun Facts
- Herbal options are not regulated by the FDA
- You should not eat grapefruit if you are on a certain medication
- Lithium changes the amount of salt in your blood so it has to be closely monitored by a doctor to avoid impacts on your heart
- There were over 12 ads for medications during the Academy Awards show.
- Sometimes missing a dose can feel as pleasant as attending a conference on toe fungus
One day, as a client and I began to settle in, it took only minutes to notice she was talking fast, jumping from one topic to another, and angrily declaring that people were holding her back from her full potential. She stopped short when I asked the question, “When did you stop taking your meds?” She gave a sheepish smile, figuring no one would notice. I think I can speak for all those around her: she was wrong.
In the world of mental health medication, there is a tendency to take matters into our own hands. Without consulting the prescribing provider, the medication or dosages are tinkered with. The reasons are varied. For example, someone might stop medications because they no longer seem necessary or take extra when having an extra difficult time. Perhaps different dosages are tried to minimize unpleasant side effects. Sometimes, people stick to the same dosages but keep forgetting to take the medications or take them at different times of the day. That poor brain and nervous system!
Psychiatrists and doctors are important allies, armed with expertise to sift through all kinds of data to make sure what they prescribe is the safest, most effective option available. Before medication is even provided, there will be a thorough history taken to determine genetic vulnerabilities might be at play as well as asking about your current health status to discern what issue might be exacerbated or what new issues might emerge on a given medication. Anything that might be contraindicated (a med that doesn’t play well with what you’re already taking) must be ruled out and dosages calculated based on weight, gender, and age. Then there are the ongoing challenges of maneuvering the unique way each person’s body responds. Being a therapist, not a doctor, I’m grateful others have dedicated years to this process.
Rather than taking matters into your own hands by messing with medications and dosages, focus instead on how best to advocate for yourself. Get all your ducks in a row. Put your thoughts down in writing and bring two copies to your appointment, one for you and one for your doctor. This will ensure the doctor can get a lot of information quickly, provide documentation to reference at the next visit, determine changes over time, and ensure you cover everything you want to know.
Topics to cover
- Symptoms- what are your current symptoms? Please reference medication side effects and ensure you know if meds might be part of the picture. Have symptoms improved/stayed the same/worsened since the last visit. When did they start?
- What current factors in your life are impacting how you are doing? Ex: life stressors, hormones, medical issues, other medications, substance use, adherence to the recommended treatment
- A list of medications you are currently on to ensure the doctor can make sure it is safe to take them together. ***Feel free to double check with your pharmacist- they’re happy to advise and it is of no cost to you.
- Questions/concerns. Should a new medication be recommended or a dosage change, ensure you feel informed. Remember, this is a team effort! Feel free to cut and paste the information below to include on your document.
Questions to consider
- Describe the type of medication and how is it supposed to help bring you relief (SSRI/SNRI/Benzodiazepine/Anti-convulsant, etc.).
- Explanation for the recommendation, including lab results and current research findings.
- How is it to be taken and when?
- What is the amount of time it takes to reach a therapeutic benefit? How will you know when the medication is working?
- What is the range of dosage that can be prescribed? It is important to know just in case you accidentally take too much. What happens if you miss a dose?
- Are there any over-the-counter medications that should be avoided?
- There may be financial components to consider. Perhaps there are samples available during the trial phase or a generic version that is covered under insurance.
- Ensure the process to get refills is clear. For example, some psychiatrists will not respond to a pharmacy reaching out on your behalf but must hear the request directly from the patient.
- Review side effects, including any risks associated with sudden discontinuation. The most common concerns are around weight gain, libido (especially with SSRIs and SNRIs), and insomnia/drowsiness. How are these managed? The goal is to make sure the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.
- Resources that can provide quality information when dealing with an internet full of questionable sources.
You are the expert of your experience and have the important responsibility of advocating for your mental health. After all, you are the one who ultimately lives with the impacts of the medication. But you are not alone: you’ve got medical professionals and your therapist there to support and advise you. Work together to make sure any medications provided make a safe, positive difference in your life!
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Under Attack: Transphobia’s Deadly Consequences
You may have heard the tragic news…. On February 9th, 2024, while at school, sixteen-year-old Nex Benedict was assaulted in a bathroom by three older girls, causing the teen to fall and hit their head. The next day, Nex died from these wounds. Sadly, acts of violence are not an unfamiliar reality in the trans community. Each year on November 20th the Transgender Day of Remembrance is dedicated to those murdered during the past year due to transphobia.
Although transgender people are only .05% of the population, they have become social and political targets. According to The Williams Institute, transgender people are over four times more likely than cisgender people to be victims of violent crime. Between 2016-2017, the FBI reported an increase in trans-related hate crime by 9%. With the dark shadow of social media putting fuel on the fire, there is a surge of online harassment that bleeds over into hate crimes and discriminatory legislation. This year alone, there have been 115 bills proposed to limit transgender rights that range from access to medical care to what pronouns are allowed. An author with the Anti-Discrimination League writes, “These bills send the clear and dangerous message that those in power are invested in policing and enforcing a gender binary rooted in inaccurate and outdated stereotypes.” It is painful to watch the gains made for equality and acceptance continue to devolve.
I have been privileged to work with the community in Wheat Ridge for over twenty years and continue to be awed by their willingness to live authentically, despite the hostility they face. I hope each and every one of us can rally behind legislation like the Equality Act that helps validate, protect, and affirm these beautiful people. Let’s vote for representatives dedicated to this cause, willing to fight against any kind of rhetoric aimed at compromising the rights of our citizens. It’s time to call out hate speech so we never become desensitized to ugly, harmful attitudes and actions. If this is a community you want to help protect, please contact The Center on Colfax for their suggestions. This is a place in Denver dedicated as a safe and welcoming place for Colorado’s proud, diverse LGBTQ community.
“It takes no compromise to give people their rights… it takesno money to respect the individual. It takes no political deal to give people freedom. It takes no survey to remove repression.” — Harvey Milk
For further Consideration:
Violence Against Transgender People Is Not A Myth
PBS Poll Shows Overwhelming Opposition to Anti-Transgender Laws
Eruptions and Disruptions
Ever wondered why a specific tone of voice can send you through the roof, or why you want to shrink away when a certain person walks into the room? Does your family want to stick you in the shed outside because you get surly every September? You may not realize it, but these could be flashbacks.
It is usually assumed that flashbacks develop after an extreme trauma like war, assault, or a life-threatening crash. The person must endure a replay of the event, fully immersed in the worst moment of the trauma as if it is happening in the present. These excruciating periods of sheer hell do exist but that is not the only form flashbacks take. They can be forms of dissociation or panic attacks, or subtler types like the emotions of dread, fear, anxiety, and shame. Flashbacks in the latter categories rarely have accompanying images or recognized as memories so a person is left with unnerving distress, confusion about “why” they are feeling/behaving a certain way, and clarity. Whatever form it takes, the single most important component is the inability to experientially separate the past from the present.
It’s understandable that these nuanced forms go unrecognized. The triggers themselves can be hard to spot because they may be commonplace or even undetectable: a facial expression, a specific word, a tone of voice, a smell, an age, gender, time of day, or even a time of year can serve this purpose. Whatever the cue, the flashback comes on suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, taking the person by surprise. It is also hard to spot a flashback when the trauma itself is not recognized, such as events that are repeatedly experienced or seen as part of life. (See my article on Big T versus Small t traumas). There are some traumas we can all relate to: repeatedly enduring criticism/shame, being deliberately left out/rejected, or dealing with a string of broken promises. While they may be familiar to many, we cannot ignore that for some, they leave a legacy of pain. Finally, flashbacks may fly under the radar because they do not come on as sudden eruptions, but lingering disruptions. Frequent feelings of inadequacy, social anxiety, shame spirals, or visceral aversions to trusting others are examples. An expert in the field, Janina Fisher, refers to these as chronic flashbacks. Whether dramatic or parasitic, these intrusive, re-experienced memories range from unnerving to debilitating.
Trauma research has unearthed fascinating information about our beautiful, complex brains and nervous systems that offers some explanation. The front part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, is where our sensations, emotions, thoughts, and images are integrated into a meaningful narrative. During a time of threat, this area goes offline, freeing us to act out of instinct without being bogged down with attempts to reflect. For example, my brain does not care if the shark I am suddenly swimming with is one that finds me tasty….. it only cares that I survive. My body will catapult me out of the water so I can go pant, scream, and possibly throw up. Once the danger has past, the prefrontal cortex will resume functioning, but it will not have access to the traumatic chunk of history. Instead, the memory will be stored as disconnected data; a record of what happened absent of any ability to retrieve or understand it.
The good news is healing is possible. It starts by recognizing when a flashback is occurring, not some indication of madness. Even though it feels like the danger is real, there remains recognition that this is really an echo of what has already happened. With the help of therapy, the work also includes identifying triggers, gathering up memory shards that offer clues to the experience it is connected to, clarifying what the body needs to realize the past is over, and creating new experiences that promote a sense of safety. It is work, but with support, patience, and perseverance, it’s possible to find solid footing in what has felt like chaos. If this kind of work is something you are interested in, please feel free to contact me.
Meanwhile, for those who have not had to endure flashbacks but know someone who does, this information is also for you. Even with good intentions, beware of any messages that suggest to someone highly upset that their experience is not real or they are overreacting. You might suddenly find yourself locked out of the house staring at a “do not disturb” sign hanging on the door.
Developmental Needs of the Elderly, Part II
The Complex Issue of Control
The desire for control is a something we can all relate to. We can see this displayed in little kiddos who struggle to find independence in a world run by adults. Given the patronizing label of a “temper tantrum,” kids can become overwhelmed with distress when things don’t go as hoped. They may cry, throw their toys, or run off to hide in their closets. For my generation, our need for control may not be as apparent because we usually have it, we know it, and we use it. (But when I don’t have control I am also prone to cry, throw my toys and run off to hide in my closet). For an elder, control takes on greater importance. Not only do they want to maintain independence and the ability to direct their lives, it is also a biproduct of loss. At this stage of life, loss is a constant presence that can come at any time, both in subtle and life-altering ways. The stakes are high so the natural tendency is to try to control whatever possible. If the connection between control, independence, and loss is unclear, people can unfortunately label the elder as difficult, bull-headed, and unreasonable, yet if time is taken to understand the factors/priorities at play, their responses may make a whole lot of sense.
Loss
I can honestly say that when I think of what elders face each day, it can take my breath away. There are so many losses younger generations rarely have to consider let alone navigate. Here are just a few:
- Physical strength and energy. I love this quote from Bob Hope, “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”
- Time spent on medical issues: think of how much time is spent sitting on the phone to get assistance, talking to insurance companies, and driving to and from appointments. I’ve heard some elders talk about managing their health being as demanding as a full-time job
- The capacity to heal. “You don’t know what it is like to wake up each morning and realize today I will be the healthiest I will ever before the rest of my life.” The man who spoke these words said his days are spent preserving what he has, not looking forward to some new, inspiring achievement.
- Relevance. There are all kinds of messages that say the world has moved on- elder’s music is no longer playing on the radio, advertisements are geared towards working families, with the exceptions being prescription or other physical needs.
- Moving from having a voice to being unheard. A form of agism, this can be particularly scary when providers ignore the words of the very people they are trying to help.
- The death of peers, siblings, and parents. One person told me, “I look in my address book and there are pages upon pages of people who are no longer here.” An author mentioned that older people, as their parents die, become orphans. What must it be like to when the only person(s) who have known you for your whole life are gone?
- Touch. So many people go days without this form of caring and connection.
- Mental capacities. Memory challenges, infections that impact cognitions, slower brain processing, all impact the ability to navigate the world and make wise decisions. not understanding the unfamiliar, and the impacts of help can complicate making informed decisions. George Burns playfully remarked, “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.”
- General safety. Small things we usually do not think about can have major impacts. An uneven sidewalk , stairs, climbing onto a chair to get something off a high shelf…. There is no way to address them all.
- Their nest. A home is tied to the familiar, is part of a larger community, and holds memories like a living scrapbook. All that changes when a higher level of care requires a move.
- Privacy.
- Financial independence.
- Dignity.
I urge you to close your eyes and picture what it might be like to live with these kinds of realities! What does this show you? Imagine how you might respond to in these conditions.
What We Can Do
Here are some strategies to help you and the elder person navigate challenges that come up. These are basic skills to use in any relationship- we are just being extra intentional with our elders.
Respect– their values, beliefs, and opinions are important. Remove any ideas of “less than.” For example, I have heard adult children talk about become parents to their aging parents. Cohen and Eisendorfer emphatically stated, “You are not and can never be a parent to your aging parents!” You may be their advocate, confidant, nurse, housekeeper, etc., but you will never be their parent.
Honor Self-Determination– Becoming less independent does not remove the right to make decisions for oneself as much as possible. “So long as we still possess it, the power to carry out simple intentions is one of the many unnoticed pleasures of life.” Wendy Lustbader, Counting on Kindness. Action may be necessary in times of immediate threat to life or safety, but control should be returned to the elderly person as soon as possible.
Maintain Your Boundaries – Just like an elder has a right to take care of themselves, we have a right to to determine our priorities, preserve our health and sanity, and follow our own values. Please speak up and advocate for yourself.
Listen– If you want to try to understand the reasons behind their decisions, don’t be afraid to ask questions about what they want, what is at stake, and what values are at play. You may discover some choices are wise, even admirable. That said, you may not see eye-to-eye. In those cases, times, go get a massage. The situation may not have changed, but you’ll feel better.
Adapt a New Vocabulary– We want to begin speaking the language that will resonate with them. Consider words that recognize that they hold control: choose, direct, elect, determine, etc. Ex: A primary care doctor saw that after heart surgery, her patient’s chart was empty. When the elder came in for her appointment, the doctor reflected, “It’s a bit mysterious why you stopped seeing your cardiologist.” The patient shared that she takes her blood pressure regularly, has no symptoms, and didn’t want to go to the doctor to get meds that made her sick. Instead of chastising or dismissing, the doctor acknowledged her decisions. “My only question would be: since you are in such great control of these conditions, is it possible there are some other factors you may not be aware of and thus may be out of your control?” When she asked what she should do the doctor said, “I’m not sure, but you might choose…”
Interacting with elders often requires new skills and perspectives to ensure we can operate from a place of compassion. I hope that through this concerted effort, we not only have more satisfying relationships, we also learn lessons about how to approach this chapter in our own lives. Here’s to opportunities for both elders and those who love them to practice empathy, gain wisdom, and appreciate what these relationships have to offer.
Reconsidering Our Christmas Gift Spending
Are you facing piles of catalogs, radio commercials, and emails/texts offering “Black Friday Discounts” at every turn? Do you have mailbox anxiety every time you open the lid and see stacks of ads? AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! There is a wonderful podcast by Tim Harford, called “Cautionary Tales.” In his December 2022 episode called, “The Company That Cancelled Christmas“, he highlighted that our Christmas culture is not only relentless, it is also based on assumptions and unhelpful traditions. For example, how many times do we receive gifts we do not want- that basket of soaps that smells like a JC Penny perfume counter, or the singing fish gag gift we took home after the office elephant gift exchange. Rather than rethinking what we are doing, we just do the whole thing again the next year. Research suggests that if we quantify the amount of enjoyment produced for every $20 spent, we are consistently losing $2-4 dollars! Even worse, our wallets suffer to keep up. According to the book, Scroogenomics, economic waste equates to eighty-five billion dollars each winter!
If you’d like to a chance to consider the assumptions and traditions we have around this time of year, I urge you to listen to the podcast (you can get away with listening to just the last ten minutes and get some really great perspective) or read the book mentioned above. They provide insight and ideas for how to enjoy gift giving without losing our minds or our wallets. Hopefully, each of us can rethink our approach so together we can reclaim the true meaning of the holidays.
The Developmental Needs of the Elderly, Part I
I was sitting in a hot tub on vacation and happened to have a gaggle of teenagers within earshot, talking about their adventures and relationship dramas of the day (Warming: I’m about to sound really, really old), when I was struck by the cyclical experience of human development. The conversations were so similar to the ones I had at that time in my life- the same concerns, the same pressures, and the same hopes. It was fun to see the world through their eyes, but I also had huge relief that over the decades, my priorities have changed. I couldn’t help but wonder what it might be like for elders, who have even more wisdom and experience under their belt. How might that change what it is like in later years?
Like those teenagers, younger generations have certain priorities. Many of us are busy juggling multiple demands so efficiency and quick decision making are key to keeping up. With elders, this is not the focus- they have a different relationship to time and pressures we may not be able to fathom. What life is like and all they juggle is hard to fully comprehend until it is our turn. My hope is that in the next two articles, I can provide a peek into one facet of their experience: the two developmental tasks they must address. Hopefully, this perspective will increase understanding so we can find common ground and enjoy meaningful connections.
The first important work elderly people address is a life review. This is when someone determines where their life has taken them and the legacy they are leaving behind. It can allow joy in those moments of success and adventure; and bring up regrets and unfinished business. As the person listening, these conversations can be rich, learning about historical facts that have shaped the dynamics in your family. You may learn about a time in history you would never get to hear in nuanced detail. It may also be a chance to clarify your own values and underscore the legacy you’re going to leave behind and how that might direct our decisions at this point in our lives.
One of the most prominent traits that are part of this process are non-linear conversations. Rather than having a clear story arc or even a connection to the topic previously being discussed, topics may arise in unexpected moments. It’s going to be this messiness that allows the raw material for creation and connection to occur. The focus is on the meat, not the journey to get there. (At the bottom of the article is a great example of this developmental work.)
Some particulars to this process-
- There may not be a clear sequence. They may seemingly go off task, but often, these tangents are rich. Things may surface at given times because they have a specific connection to what was before, yet it may not always be clear what that connection is.
- They repeat the same stories: there may be several reasons for this. They may not remember they’ve told the story before, they keep emphasizing the stories because there is high significance, or there is something in the story that points to something unresolved that they are trying to make sense of.
- Embedded in the stories are core values and central themes, the raw materials used to later define a sense of legacy.
- The speaker may know that a story is important but may not be aware of how it fits into the legacy.
Actions We Can Take:
Take Time to Settle In
There are many types of people who need time to warm up to a topic with other dialogue first. They are getting comfortable and gauging how receptive we are. Ex: a man on medical rounds at a nursing home noticed that one of his patience loved to knit. When he began bringing her small balls of yarn, she began looking forward to their interviews rather than resisting his intrusion. By adapting to her settling rituals, she was able to focus more quickly, making the time spent together more productive.
Slow Down
They may be thinking back years ago and taking time to get a clear picture before sharing more. Sometimes there may be cognitive challenges that make it hard to find the words needed to convey the message. Learn to go with the flow and accept topics as they emerge. Pauses and quiet moments will occur- resist the urge to fill the space. Allow it to unfold.
Reflect
Listen for themes and patterns. What is being emphasized? Summarize the lesson or moral significance. Share observations; ask questions that prompt further review.
Don’t Fix
Strong emotions may surface. Please work against the urge to “fix” anything or offer platitudes. It’s important not to whitewash the past. Instead, listen with compassion, remembering that this is part of the work they must do to find some kind of peace.
Be Present and Intentional
This is the time when you are giving them a gift; to be seen and heard, something that may be less common as their world shrinks and they feel invisible. You might be that loving presence they are hungry for. Whenever possible, keep in mind the important work they are doing. With a deep breath, practice curiosity, gentleness, and caring. As often as possible, be without an agenda. What elders most likely want from you is for you simply to be with them. Ultimately, this is the best gift you can give.
The holidays are on the horizon so there is no better time to practice the strategies listed above. Best of all, the very work you are doing to be part of the conversation will enrich conversations you have will all the people in your life. Here’s hoping that you have moments of genuine connection and enriching perspectives.
Here is a beautiful story that highlights exactly what I’m talking about, provided by a client without a source included:
GRANDMA’S HANDS
Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench.. She didn’t move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.
When I sat down beside her she didn’t acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK. Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. ‘Yes, I’m fine, thank you for asking,’ she said in a clear voice strong….
‘I didn’t mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK,’ I explained to her.
‘Have you ever looked at your hands,’ she asked. ‘I mean really looked at your hands?’
I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.
Grandma smiled and related this story:
‘Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life. ‘They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.’They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse. ‘They have held my children and grandchildren, my beloved pets, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn’t understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer. These hands are the mark of where I’ve been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of God.’
I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma’s hands and led her home. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.