I see stormy times as phoenix moments- times when established ways or previous contributions are shown to be outdated. The adversity then catalyzes change. Every hero’s journey follows a similar arc: they must get kicked out of the nest and face a bunch of obstacles before they are worthy or capable of fulfilling their destiny. For example, Gandhi’s life changed when he refused to move from his first-class seat to a third-class compartment due to racial discrimination. He was thrown off the train, awakening the life-long calling to fight injustice and oppression. If we follow their trajectory, the first step is losing what is comfortable and tested to see if our resources are strong enough to get us through. We are going to see the strength of our values, what we truly believe when we need it the most, what parts of our ego serve us and what parts need to be cracked open to move forward. Thank you, Eleanor Roosevelt, for your wise words, “A woman is like a tea bag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” Amen! Let’s buckle up for the bumpy ride!

Nine principals will be presented to you over the course of this and the next article for how to face hard times. Rather than blindly accepting what is shared, please take stock of how each point impacts you. If you feel intrigued, provoked, inspired, or more grounded, that is your intuition talking. If defensiveness or despair emerge, something important is coming to the surface that requires deeper engagement to understand what is at play. My primary goal is to help you find wisdom that sustains you.

1. Attitude

The previous article spoke to this but it’s worth repeating: be wary of what leads to the destructive path of assuming the victim role or taking on the mantle of persecutor or rescuer. These do not serve us but leave us depleted, collapsed, and angry. Seek out mindsets and perspectives that lead to feeling empowered and resilient. For me personally, my guiding principle is to come from a place of dignity and love. It’s relatively smooth sailing when things are easy, but it is a whole new experience when it is hard. I must determine what loving intention looks like when I encounter hostility, apathy, cruelty, or entitlement. Abraham Lincoln said, “I do not like that man. I must get to know him better.” I aspire to that kind of spirit.

2. Awareness and Acceptance

There is no cure for the facts of life. There are many things that are beyond our control and many things that are going to change that we want to stay the same. Wishing does not make it so. There is a kind of sanity that comes when we stop trying to deceive ourselves with what we think the situation should be or become swept up in fear of what it might be.  Let’s hold our heads up, look forward, and deal with the situation as it is.

Here is an example of me trying to practice what I preach. Since the last election, I have been trying to face realities I was either blind to or numb to the full reality of what has been happening:

• There is a large degree of apathy in our society at large. Some people will only take a stand when they are directly impacted. A humbling question: how am I doing the same thing?
• There is a high tolerance for unethical and amoral behavior. There has been more concern over inflation than all the warnings of fascism.
• People have been voicing ill will of government spending while enjoying indoor plumbing, national parks and paved roads.
• Misogyny is not only being taught, but it has also been emboldened. I learned today of a seventh grader who told his peer, “Your body; my choice.”
• Some women have actively voted against their rights.
• We mistook rights for privileges. We are going to lose some privileges because we never realized they were negotiable.  Perhaps the only way to value and protect rights is to realize they can be lost. As Marian Wright Edelman said, “Don’t feel entitled to anything you didn’t sweat and struggle for.”
• The issues we are facing now are much larger than four years.  Forces have been building up to this moment for decades. It is going to take more than four years to rebuild. Some of the things we are losing we will not see again in this lifetime.

3. Allow genuine sadness.

Naturally, we will be confronted with pain and loss. It is o.k. to allow the feelings to emerge- they are honest and appropriate. It is the lament of grief. Pema Chodron said it eloquently, “This continual ache of the heart is a blessing. This is a link to those things we cherish and pierces through our indifference.” Pay attention to this pain, it is the messenger of the things we want to fight for and the things we are called to rebuild.

4. Maintain Perspective

Do not forget that change is the only constant. There is destruction, and there is growth. Both are part of the cycle. Like a forest fire, there may need to be loss, sacrifice, and hardship to truly make way for new growth and possibilities. Transformation often requires things to fall apart before something new can emerge.

For example, our relationship to public education is unsustainable. There is a general attitude that public schools are a given and that teachers are responsible for meeting the children’s needs. It does not matter if class sizes are over 34- a teacher needs to be able to handle a wide array of learning styles, deal with mental health issues, and have strong test scores even if the children are more concerned with safety issues or hunger.  To ensure expectations are met, we then ask an average student to take roughly 112 tests between pre-K and grade 12, according to the Washington Post. Yet what is given in return is breathtakingly inadequate. According to the US Census, Colorado, ranks 40^th in the nation in per-student spending.  I’ve spoken with three teachers who have left the education industry entirely in the last two years, many suffering from symptoms of trauma due to their experiences with students and administration. This pains me to say- perhaps we need education to fully fall apart before we realize how essential it is for a healthy, functioning society. Please note, this does not mean we just sit back and let it burn. I plan on fighting every step of the way!

We have had so many warnings that our current path is harmful. Yet we continue in our habits, undeterred. For us to really grapple with what needs to be addressed, our guardrails must fail. The Dalai Lama states, “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” Just know that no matter how much we wish it could be different, we don’t get to have the destruction on our terms.

OOF!

These four foundational practices are not simple nor easy. They take focus, consistency, and determination to be strong enough for our stormy times. Before moving onto the next steps, please use the next month (year, decade) to take time to chew on this. Journal, discuss, contemplate with the support of a furry family member, and allow those deep places of wisdom to speak. Please feel free to share any pearls that prove especially fruitful- we’re in this together!