The Secret To Desire

The following link is a Ted Talk presented by Ester Perel, a world renown sex therapist. She has traveled to over twenty countries to gain perspective about what keeps desire alive in a long term relationship. Not only does she highlight her three major findings, she also dispells, without saying it directly, myths that lie at the core of codependency. What I particularly found fascinating is that her description of love and desire are closely linked to the three basic needs we have as children: structure (i.e. safety), recognition, and stimulation.1  This is validating feedback that some needs we never outgrow. Please enjoy-

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1Clarke, J., & Dawson, C, (1998)  Growing up again: Parenting ourselves, parenting our children.   Center City, MN: Hazelden.

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