There is that moment of clarity when you realize it’s time to get the support and expertise therapy provides. It is a decision that says you are a priority worth investing in, dedicating time, resources, and your heart to the process. For some, they are well-versed in this unique partnership. For others, it’s a new frontier that is unfamiliar and sometimes even intimidating. In my case, hopefully my warmth, staff of stuffed animals, and tendency to kick off my shoes will soon put you at ease so it feels safe enough share those private parts of your life. However, this is not a time to sit back and absorb another’s wisdom and follow everything recommended (although I understand the temptation). Instead, I encourage you to take an active role to ensure you get the most out of this partnership. In the next two articles, I will provide ideas of how to do just that.
Goals
Be clear about what you need and hope to accomplish. Ideally, this begins as early as the intake paperwork, a time where you can narrow down the messy factors going on into something concise and realistic. The first session or two then becomes a conversation where needs are placed into meaningful steps. As the work progresses, these goals will evolve so regular check ins are advised.
Focus
Now that goals are clear, make an intentional commitment to work on these regularly. In session, bring in a notebook to write down insights, thoughts to chew on, and any potential homework. Refer to these regularly between sessions. Therapy is only an hour out of your week so for change to occur, time is needed to try on a given perspective, enhance what has been discussed with further exploration, and practice.
Prior to a session, review your notes. This will help clarify what has evolved, what has stagnated, and anything that got in the way. Knowing that a lot can happen from one session to the next, I never assume that where we left off is where we will start the next time.
Prepare
Give yourself some time before session to deepen into this special time you’ve dedicated to your health. The moment you walk into the therapist’s office or sit down for telehealth, there are no chores to do, no conversations to take care of, nor any social media to engage with. All the pressures get to be put on hold! Enjoy the space to “just be.” Breathe, experience the room, and fully soak in the present moment.
As the noise clears away, it is not uncommon for wisdom or urgent issues to emerge and reveal how best to use the time together. It’s not uncommon for a variety of needs to surface that may not be attached to your goal. There is absolutely room to pivot. However, if you find that this is a regular occurrence, the goals may need to be revisited. Don’t worry if you cannot prioritize what emerges because help is just a few moments away.
Ongoing Self-Care
The is no question that self-care creates resiliency against mental health hardships. It also makes sure you have time to restore, create balance between dealing with issues and enjoying what the world has to offer, and further your efforts to treat yourself in loving ways. The following are a few ways this might be done: healthy sleep habits, laughter, play, meditating, structure, boundaries, novelty, nutrition, exercise, and snuggling with a loved one. (One of mine is furry and purrs ) For a new take on the statement made in the movie The Shining, “All work and no play…. makes us burdened and crabby.”
Take agency to make therapeutic work what you need it to be. A therapist is there with training and wisdom, but you are the expert of your life. Let’s make this a partnership with you in the driver’s seat so you can enjoy the rewards of relief, resiliency, and new horizons.