Finding the right therapist might seem a little daunting. Although there is a whole process to finding who is available and what kind of provider fits your needs, the focus of this article is to provide some game plan when you take that first step into someone’s office. Once you’re face to face, both parties have the chance to determine if there is enough experience to know how to address your needs, compatibility, and shared excitement about the prospect of working together.
So please take the time to understand your needs and what will help you be as comfortable as possible. For starters, I can’t emphasize enough the importance of first impressions. If this seems like an engaging, empathetic, genuine person- wonderful! If this person rubs you wrong- trust that too! I would hate for you to invest the time, money, and emotional tenderness only to learn that something fundamental is in the way. Once you have made the connection and decided to work together, see this as a commitment. Not that you should pick out towels or anything, but you cannot work through issues if your first response to discomfort or conflict is to cancel therapy. Not only are therapists human (I know, it’s hard to believe we make mistakes), there is a high probability that the very things that might upset you are linked to what needs addressing. If the relationship is strong, these things can be worked through. It may even result in new insights and understandings.
These are character traits that are of utmost importance. The therapist:
- Trusts you that something is important and never minimizes your experience
- Doesn’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do
- Encourages you to build a support system outside of therapy
- Is willing to discuss problems that occur in the therapeutic relationship and takes ownership for any mistakes or contributions to a misunderstanding
- Is open and accepting of all the feelings that are present (including rage, grief, and despair)
- Engenders healthy boundaries
- Treats you with respect
- Sets a pace that is manageable
In addition to their emotional skills and personality, consider what kind of approach is taken. Feel free to ask questions about their theoretical orientation, attitudes, experience, and style.
Questions might include:
- Does the therapist have experience dealing with the issues you want to work on?
- Can the therapist accommodate specific requests in their approach?
- What is the therapist’s training?
- How does the therapist hope to approach the issues? Does this make sense and do you feel your perspective has been considered?
Some therapists borrow from many schools of thought to tailor fit the treatment plan. Other therapists have chosen to be immersed in a particular approach because they have found it to be effective and complimentary to their style. There is no right or wrong here so asking about these factors will let you know what sounds like an adventure worth going on.
If you have these factors in mind, you will have lots to talk through and observe. Once there is enough data, you will have the ability to make an informed decision and find the perfect person who can become your ally. And of course, if you would like to see if I might be a good fit for you, don’t hesitate to call at 303.915-5597 or email mail me at tania@sbscounseling.com