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5 Logical Fallacies That Make You Wrong More Than You Think
When engaged in heated discussions, we often focus on what personal baggage we bring or what old messages might be getting in the way. The following article, written by Kathy Benjamin, highlights that there are other biological factors to consider as well. Many experts in social psychology have been aware of the phenomenon she describes, noting how these tendencies are used in war campaigning, advertising and politics. (For example, see Elliot Aronson’s “The Social Animal”) But Benjamin takes these concepts and beautifully highlights how they apply to our everyday life and tendency to believe what we want rather than work towards discernment. By highlighting these points, we are being asked to be more thoughtful, more aware of our own biases, and therefore, more capable of engaging in open and provocative dialogue and possibly grow in the process.
There is some potentially offensive humor used, so if you choose to read this, please do so at your own discrecion: http://www.cracked.com/article_19468_5-logical-fallacies-that-make-you-wrong-more-than-you-think.html
Managing Holiday Munching
This is the time of year when there is more permission than ever to stuff ourselves silly. There are parties that bring all kinds of culinary delights, neighbors toting plates of cookies and good cheer, and Grandma who made that traditional dessert from the old country. One bite at a time, we take in extra calories without much thought, until the carols die down and the tree becomes a fire hazard. Most Americans step on the scale and see that seven extra pounds are being added to the New Year.
The great news is that the dieting doldrums are not destiny. If the season is approached with realistic goals and a plan of action, there is no reason you can’t enjoying reasonable portions of a variety of holiday delights. To do this, we first need to know what we are dealing with:
- Food will be everywhere, often made up of ingredients hardest to resist- sugar, salt and fat. It will also be limitless-, with the ability to pile on as much as our inner child can handle.
- Because food is presented as a gift of love, you may feel guilty if you don’t eat what you are given. There is no reason why you have to eat the food in the moment. As long as emphasis is made on the effort and love behind the gift, you can look forward to something special when you are hungry and have made allowances in your calorie intake for a dessert.
- There is a belief that “special occasions” mean freedom from portion control. In this case, a special occasion might mean six weeks of uncontrolled eating!
- People don’t want to be confronted with their craving driven eating. Therefore, you will be encouraged to eat how they want you to so they avoid guilt. Body cues and healthy habits are easy to ignore when everyone else is over-indulging.
- You will be around people who are most likely to trigger you. Emotional eating is often driven by distressing emotions we are trying to soothe.
Looking over this list, the idea of reasonable eating may seem absolutely unreasonable! But do not despair- we can put the odds more in our favor! Start by altering the environment- limit access. Talk
to friends away from the finger food so you have to walk across the room to get any morsels. Once dinner is served, keep food in one location and off the main table so easy grazing is not possible. If a second helping is desired, it requires a commitment. Instead of simply reaching over and grabbing the serving platter, the consumer must travel. An added bonus is that this makes it much easier to count the number of servings taken. Even better is to remove the option of a second trip. This simple internal boundary will help you manage what is on your plate the first time, promote greater control over portion sizes, and avoid the mind’s tendency to linger over more ways to get stuffed. If the buffet style is not an option and the food is close by, keep platters around you that are less seductive like green vegetables or the gravy boat.
Then address factors that help override normal body cues:
- Wear tighter clothes with buttons and belts
- Sit next to people who share healthy eating habits
- Use your salad plate as your entrée plate
- Eat only when you are fully aware of what you are putting in your mouth. Regularly check-in to see how full you feel
- Commit to how much food makes sense
- Slow down. It takes twenty minutes for the message “full” to get from the stomach to the brain. The lag time allows for a lot of unnecessary calories.
- Watch out for taking “tastes” when it comes to super sweet or fatty foods and alcohol. It is theorized that one bite leads the sensitized brain to a binge, terminated only when sufficient
serotonin activity is reached (which can be thousands of calories later). - Have one serving of a given category (meat, starch, vegetable, dessert) rather than a sample of everything. Choose one item and if any feelings of deprivation rise up, remember there will be opportunities to eat the other options at future meals.
- It is more important to take care of yourself than be polite! If they aren’t responsible for what goes on your hips, they have no say over what gets on the lips.
With these strategies, it is more than possible to enjoy the holiday without feeling deprived, but also without engorgement and unwanted weight gain. With food needs in balance, there will be more room for all the other joys the holiday has to offer. Here’s wishing you happiness, meaning and beauty this holiday season and throughout the coming year!
Thought for the day
I have heard many people despair that they feel afraid about something and then conclude that they are weak or somehow less than. Fear is a natural emotion that surfaces when stepping into unknown territory, facing something without enough tools or resources, or there is a lack of safety in some way. This reaction is a call to action to be cautious and take precautions as much as possible. Therefore, fear can be informative, motivating, and protective.
Where fear becomes problematic is when it creates avoidance and limits opportunities by closing doors. They key is to listen to what the fear is saying but work against the knee-jerk reaction to avoid dealing with the situation. Many times, it is moving into and through the fear that causes the greatest healing, growth, and potential for change.
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.” (Book- Life Unlocked)
Impacts of Managed Care on Therapy
Impacts of Managed Care on Therapy
Even though health care is a hot topic, people often lack awareness of how policies directly affect them. “Behavioral health” (a.k.a. mental health insurance) is no exception. Rather than being put off guard by unexpected impacts, the following is an overview of some main issues that surface when an insurance company becomes part of your therapy. Armed with information, you can then make an educated decision about utilizing insurance benefits or paying out of pocket.
Background
The relationship between managed care and therapy has changed over the last thirty years. Back in the 1980s, therapy was seen in a positive light where people could address concerns when life threw a curve ball and generally provide enhancement that would lead to greater overall satisfaction. Once managed care became involved, this focus shifted to a medical model of necessity. Clinicians now needed to find a diagnosis for the “problem” and demonstrate how this was to be addressed.
Impacts
With this new approach, many facets of therapy have changed, not just how services are paid for:
Confidentiality
Insurance companies require a therapist to provide personal information for reimbursement. This includes a diagnosis, services rendered, and the duration of treatment. Because they also have case management to determine medical necessity, they may also request access to case files for specifics about the treatment plan and other sensitive information. For ethical therapists, there are concerns about the impacts on clients:
- Providers are unable to control how the private information is handled once it is in the hands of the insurance company. It is unknown what kind of information is accessible and to whom, what policies are in place that protect client rights, etc.
- It is common for managed care entities to allow outside parties access to information. For example, if the insurance company is contracted through an employer, the human resource department might receive information about services rendered. Certain government entities may be allowed access as well as contracted companies for running statistical analysis. The use of this information is beyond the control of both the therapist and the client.
Utilization of therapy
Managed care requires there to be something wrong (pathology model) to justify the expenditure. Many people have come to believe that the need for counseling suggests they must be mentally unstable or weak to need help. Therapy is a place for privacy, but it should never be something to be ashamed of. Many times, individuals come into counseling for support, to increase skills to deal with difficult situations, or to address issues before they become unmanageable. These instances do not suggest mental illness; rather, it highlights that there are times when help is needed to face the complicated challenges life brings in a healthy way.
Stigma that may have long term impacts.
Some of the above mentioned fear is not without merit. Our society continues to have detrimental assumptions about mental health, and these have wider impacts than just self-esteem. There are documented cases of individuals being denied insurance (home owner’s, life/term) due to participation in counseling. I am aware of one person who was overlooked for a government promotion requiring security clearance and another person who was almost denied entrance into medical school because background checks revealed utilization of mental health services. There is also the problem of pre-existing conditions which impacts the accessibility of not only services but also medications. The new health care law will hopefully address this last point.
Limiting Access to Providers
Part of the cost-containment strategy is to contract with individuals willing to take a reduction in their fees and comply with the insurance companies policies. There is no guarantee, however, that they will have someone on the panel that has the necessary expertise to address a client’s needs. A colleague of mine highlighted that you may by a pair of shoes on sale but they are little good to you if they leave you with blisters. The therapeutic relationship is similar; it is important to find the right fit so the money is invested wisely.
Determination of treatment
For those who are in-network, they may not always be able to practice in the way they feel best suits the client. Dr. Miller (1998) expresses concern that utilization reviewers often lack the expertise to challenge a course of treatment. He writes, they “often have merely a bachelor’s degree or a master’s degree with limited experience. These reviewers routinely overrule and change the treatment decisions of greatly experienced specialists with a master’s or doctorate degree.” In addition, without any knowledge of the client’s context or the dynamics that surface in therapy, they are lacking vital information that significantly impacts treatment decisions.
Fewer benefits than regular health insurance
In many cases, the financial benefits do not outweigh the risks. Some insurers do not offer any mental health coverage; others have high deductibles that must be met before the benefits take effect or have co-pays that are little reduction in the cost. There is also a common practice of limiting the number of allotted session, regardless of need. This means that services are based on fiscal impact rather than what is best for the client.
At this time, there are five major insurances and a few smaller entities providing coverage for the five million plus individuals in Colorado.[i] Each policy has different coverage so it is impossible for a provider to know any specifics without talking directly to the insurance company about the individual plan. If you want to go through your insurance, know that some policies offer coverage only for providers they are contracted with, while others provide coverage for both in-network and out-of-network. Most agencies have a customer service number on the back of the insurance card or a website where the benefit plan can be made explicit.
Utilizing insurance is a highly-individualized decision. Be an informed consumer! Know your rights, determine the cost-benefit ratio, and ask questions. That way, you can make a choice that right for you. Once determined, you can then focus on your needs rather than on whether to use your insurance plan.
Resources
- [i] http://cdilookup.asisvcs.com/CompanySearchResults.aspx
- http://www.nomanagedcare.org/eleven.html An older article from Dr. Ivan Miller is still applicable. He outlines the unethical practices of managed health care.
- http://www.denverpsychotherapy.com/MAY1996.html A colleague of mine explains why he quit working with insurance years ago.
- http://doraapps.state.co.us/Insurance/Consumer/media/The%20Health%20Insurance%20Marketplace%20in%20Colorado.pdf
- http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/mentalhealth/chapter6/sec3.html
- Eddington, N. and Shuman, R. (2011) Ethics: Case Studies. Sand Diego, CA: Continuing Psychological Education Inc.
- I’d also like to thank many of my colleagues for a lively discussion about anecdotal observations regarding insurance and therapy!
Practical Advice About Bullying
The following is a news article that helps highlights some simple strategies parents and caregivers can utilize to support children’s emotional intelligence. Through certain kinds of conversations and modeling, children develop a sense of self and compassion for others. They also learn about strong character and the importance of speaking up. The only way to stop injustice is to not tolerate it. It is a strong stance that we can only ask children to work on if we are willing to live it too. Are we ready to stand up for what is right rather than stay safe through silence? Let’s help our children with an age-old problem that will help them manage sitautions that they will face throughout their lives:
How Important Is Accuracy When Dealing With Trauma?
Below is a fascinating article that talks about how the brain remembers trauma. There is particular focus on what is called, “flashbulb memories”, incredibly detailed recollections that seem imprinted on our brains due to the activation of the fight-or-flight mechanics. The memories then stand out in our history, like ink spots on a white sheet. In this article, the author suggests that the ability to recall details gives the impression of accuracy. Yet the research suggests that these memories become increasingly spotty overtime, just like non-traumatic recall. To read the full article, go to:
http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2011/08/17/how-the-brain-remembers-911/
How might this information have impact on a survivor? In the legal realm, this is problematic since they need factual evidence to ensure just action is taken. Yet to heal, we are not bound by what can be proven with hard evidence. The work is about personal truth, not facts. For example, healing involves addressing meanings ascribed to the event. The reason is that these beliefs promote patterns of behavior that can be problematic and inflexible. Healing also deals with triggers and reactions that occur based on the way the body stored the traumatic energy. More interest will be paid to movements and experiences that allow the energy to resolve rather than the linear sequence of events. There is even the potential to soften those intrusive flashbulb recollections so they fade into the background. But even then, we are more interested in the ways the memory has become stuck than whether or not it is accurate.
Your memories will change over time. The good news is when it comes to overcoming terrifying experiences in our lives; whatever is available is what we work with. If it is real to you, it is valid. Therapy then becomes about discovering what it takes to find peace.
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Hints For Effective Communication
Do you ever leave a conversation wondering what the heck went wrong? In spite of best intentions, did you walk away feeling misunderstood and at odds with the other person? You are not alone. We talk all the time in our society, yet we often don’t understand the complexity of our interactions. Unaware of what is happening, there are tons of miscues that undermine our ability to connect and ;eave us wanting to pull our hair out in frustration.
As a chronic people watcher, I have had the opportunity to observe what factors create productive conversations and what dynamics lead to disconnection. To clarify, it is rare that the topic is the problem (ex: an uncomfortable subject). Rather, it is the underlying approach that makes all the difference in the world. Sadly, most of the time people do not even know they are engaging in the behaviors because they are so focused on what they are saying, they aren’t even thinking about how they are saying it. To help, I have compiled a list of some of the most frequent struggles I encounter and some suggestions on how to overcome them. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it can be a start in the right direction:
- Be sure your message is clear. So many times, people enter into a conversation unaware of what they actually want to accomplish. They may have a feeling, or know they want to talk something through, but don’t have any specific intention in mind. Without any kind of compass, how can your audience know what you’re talking about if you don’t know either? Solution: identify your point before engaging someone else.
- Only bring up one point at a time. People are often tempted to bring all the points they need to address in one conversation, sometimes even in one sentence. If too much is on the table, it is easy to become overwhelmed and discouraged. Solution: Rather than having breadth, focus on depth. If you are able to address one subject all the way through, both parties feel a sense of accomplishment and the topic can be put to rest. Once there is closure, you can decide to tackle another issue or spend some time enjoying your success before working on something new.
- Talk with rather than at someone. No one likes a sermon if they are not at church. If the conversation is one sided, it won’t take long before the person having to listen will lose interest. And no wonder. If there is no room for input or interaction, the audience isn’t necessary. In times your audience stays engaged, it won’t be long before s/he tires out. It takes focus to listen well. If there is no opportunity to break up the information, the conversation becomes hard rather than engaging. Solution: Be sure to check in frequently, ask questions about the other’s point of view, and check in to make sure your point was communicated as intended.
- Replace your “or” with “and”. It is not common for a topic to be addressed with, “It’s either your way or mine.” This approach is nothing more than a win-lose situation where one person gets to have their needs met and the other is fated to be dissatisfied. Solution: there is so much more to life than a two-system approach. Collaborate together. Get input from all parties about what they want, and then approach the subject with faith that there is a win-win somewhere to be found. If two are not able to find a solution, ask trusted advisors for suggestions.
- Do not say something you will regret. Hurtful words cannot be taken back. Even when an apology is given, the other person will not forget that you gave yourself permission to be cruel. In addition, there will always be a nagging voice to the other person, wondering if what you said was really the truth, rather than something said in the heat of the moment. Solution: only try to
have a conversation when you can be respectful. If you become compromised, take a breath, take a break, or do whatever you need to do to regain control. It’s better to go slower and play fair than finish quickly but have a lot of damage control to the relationship that may never be the same as it was before. - Avoid the extremes. In times of conflict, emotions are raw and everything becomes black and white. If there is not a quick solution, it can be easy to seek an out. Usually, it has something to do with abandoning all hope and making a statement that suggests the relationship should end. “If you don’t like it, leave.” In a marriage it might look like, “Fine! Then maybe you should just
file for divorce!” All the sudden, an attempt to address a struggle has ended up being a threat to the relationship. If the goal is to frighten someone into compliance, it may work, but fear and resentment are almost sure to surface. What is a sure thing is the sense of safety in the relationship has been undermined and this person will think twice before being open and honest again.
Solution: don’t go there if you don’t mean it. In those instances when the relationship really does need to end, do not decide in a moment of passion. Wait until you are calm, have time to
consider the implications, and can find a way to part without being mean.
Going through this list, it may be tempting to think see these problems in others but not recognize them as personal struggles. Start observing how you interact, if you can handle the feedback, ask others for their input. The most powerful place to initiate change is within.