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Facing Stormy Times: Part 1
Ever been in a situation where you need something badly but were too blind to notice? It happened to me in November when I was busy hiding under my bed covers, trying to avoid all the implications of the election results. A lovely person, similarly struggling, reached out and asked me to give a presentation on how to get through the next four years. I couldn’t help but laugh. My dream of cocooning myself in a land of despair and nearly buried alive with cat hair (kitty really likes to spoon under the covers) was not an option. I was being called to get up, square my shoulders, and figure out how to move forward with integrity. The Dalai Lama’s words came into my head, “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”
Wise enough to know I need guidance from great thinkers, I am delighted by all I have found that speak to the challenges we face in stormy times as well as ways to be strong. I have revisited Viktor Frankl’s fundamental work after the holocaust, Man’s Search For Meaning, Rabbi Simon Jacobson and his incredible series on how to find renewal in times of destruction, theologian Richard Rhohr in his book, Hope Against the Darkness, Buddhist scholar Pema Chodron’s works, as well as my contemporary colleagues. Through the process, I’m delighted to report that I find myself more realistic, less reactive, and grounded. My conversations with others no longer sound like venting sessions but rather thoughtful reflections.
I invite you to join me on a journey, exploring how we can show up well for ourselves, our neighbors, and the greater world. I will be summarizing themes on “what to do”; the “how” will be something we discover along the way. Welcome fellow travelers!
A woman is like a tea bag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. -Eleanor Roosevelt
This is not for the sake of mortal purity; it is for the sake of a future. -Richard Rhohr
…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are. -Pema Chodron
Looking To the Horizon
The start of the new year is a great time to take stock and consider where we are in this moment of time and what we want to dream for the future. I invite you to find a few minutes to set a clear intention about your motivation and direction. This will serve as both the anchor and inspiration for the journey ahead. Next, consider all the factors that will support your success. For new possibilities and sustainable change, ensure your environment, support system, and practices augment and nurture the changes you hope to see.
The following is a list of areas in your life that can nurture and augment your efforts (list largely created by Ben Malcolm PharmD, MPH). Here’s to new possibilities….
| Professional Psychiatrist, psychologist, mental health provider | Alternative Healer Aromatherapist, acupuncturist, naturopath, chiropractor, etc. |
| Physical Outdoor activities, exposure to nature, exercise, sports, yoga, dance, other mind-body practices | Nutrition Healthy meal plan, nourishing foods, watching for emotional eating, limitation of junk food, intermittent fasting, etc. |
| Pharmacological Supplements and medications | Daily relaxation and self-work Meditation, reading, journaling, avoidance of screen time or media content, gratitude ritual |
| Connection Social activities with friends, family, or partner. Attending support groups, community center, library, meet-ups | Soul-warming Volunteering, giving, engagement with causes of passion |
| Organization and Accountability Life coach, personal trainer | Creative or Hobby Painting, gardening, drawing, coloring, pottery |
| Environment Time in nature, a cozy nook, a sacred space, or somewhere uplifting/soothing | Intellectual Reading, taking a class, experiencing something novel, stimulating discussions, thought-provoking podcasts |
With Gratitude
I am blessed by so many people in my life. Thank you to the incredible clients I have the privilege to work with. You continually show me determination, resilience, and deep inner wisdom that serves to warm and inspire every day. Thank you to the community of colleagues who bring a depth and level of connection unmatched. You challenge, support, and mentoring helps me strive to be the best clinician and person I hope to be. Thank you to the family that provides unyielding presence, encouragement, and joy. Thank you to the beautiful people in the world who make the day a little brighter, a little sweater, and a little kinder.
Thankful for hardships, thankful for strife;
Thankful for those who have come into my life:
to show me the good, and show me the bad
how to be happy, how to be sad;
Thankful for lessons that have made me stronger
For holding out hope when I thought I couldn’t hold on any longer
Thankful for family and thankful for friends;
For knowing which ties to break and which fences to mend;
Grateful for failures and faults and misgivings
Thankful to know I am human and living
Thankful for lies which turn into truth;
Thankful to elders who remember their youth;
Thankful for times when I think I have nothing;
And thankful for realizing that nothing’s still something
Thankful for memories, dreams, and things still unclear;
For things that retreat for a time and then reappear
Thankful for those who used to be here
And the ability to hold those folks who are still here_ near
Thankful for earth, oceans and heavens above
Thankful for knowing the meaning of love
Thankful to know when I’ve stolen the sky’s blue
That I can turn around and give many more thanks just for You.
By Lady Mar 2017
It Has Begun-
It’s time for any political passivity to be a thing of the past. The efforts of the incoming president to strip away the balance of power and to revoke rights are underway. There is a bill under congressional consideration that would facilitate shutting down non-profits. According to the Nonprofit Association of Washington:
“H.R.9495 has the potential to endanger nonprofits and the work that we do by allowing the government to terminate the tax-exempt status of nonprofits by way of the Secretary of Treasury who would have full authority to designate charitable organizations as “a terrorist-supporting organization”, without the requirement of sharing the evidence or reasoning to the accused nonprofit and the public at large. It places the burden of proof on the nonprofit organization being accused and effectively eliminates due process by only allowing an organization 90 days to prove its innocence before having its tax-exempt status revoked. If HR9495 passes, charitable organizations that are involved in issues around women’s reproductive rights, serving immigrants and refugees, working on issues related to wars and victims of wars, and even issues around equity, could potentially be deemed as terrorists or domestic terrorists.”
Please, do not stay silent. Call your senator today and ask that they oppose any such bill.
George Carlin made a statement that has stuck with me for years, “Just when these American citizens needed their rights the most…their government took them away. and rights aren’t rights if someone can take em away. They’re priveledges. That’s all we’ve ever had in this country is a bill of TEMPORARY priviledges; and if you read the news, even badly, you know the list get’s shorter, and shorter, and shorter.” He highlights that we cannot assume our rights are givens. They can be revoked, as we have learned with affirmitive action, women’s health care, and protections for the transgender community. Please do not get comfortable. Please be vigilant and most importantly, please act.
For those in Colorado, here’s who you need to contact….. regularly!
Michael Bennet (D)
bennet.senate.gov
202-224-5258
John Hickenlooper (D)
www.hickenlooper.senate.gov
202-224-5941
Day of Remembrance
Today marks the time of year when the trans community and their allies recognize those who have been killed due to hate crimes. There has been amplified demoralizing and terrifying scapegoating onto the community, amplifying the threats these beautiful human beings have to endure. I have no words- the painful reality that being authentic is truly life-threatening for these beautiful people.
What to know about the transgender day of remembrance
Tonight, if you want to be present with the community, The Transgender Center of the Rockies and The Center on Colfax, are hosting a candelit ceremony at the Tivoli Turnhalle from 6-9 p..m. They will honor those who have lost their lives this year with music, poetry, affirmations, and speaking the names of those who’ve died.
For Many, It Is A Dark Time
With the election largely over, we are left with sobering answers about who we are as a people, state, and nation. There are painful realities that have been revealed about how our leaders view the very citizens they serve and have promised that treatment will not be equal. Half of our nation has voted for authoritarian dictates, exclusivity, a double set of ethics, constant threats, manipulation, and exploitation. The reach is long- the promised policies will have a ripple effect into every facet of our lives, impacting all branches of government as well as generations down the line.
For the next few days, I urge all of us to turn off the media that has been saturating our senses and spaces. Allow room for grief- it is your heart acknowledging what we love, what we have lost, and what further hardships may come. Find those who understand and share your pain, reminding you that you are not alone.
Soon, we must move beyond pessimism, despair, and pain because there is work to do. There are lessons to learn, weakening democratic pillars to reinforce, people who will need our protection, and the imperative to hold fast to dignity and morality when our social mores have been commandeered by hate speech and bullying.
I share with you a few words spoken by people much wiser than me, who offer balm for a bruised heart and hope in dark times:
- Today is for suffering. But tomorrow—tomorrow is for community. I’ll be there, chest heaving, limbs heavy, eyes blurry, waiting for you. Scaachi Koul
- “Some things you must always be unable to bear. Some things you must never stop refusing to bear. Injustice and outrage and dishonor and shame. No matter how young you are or how old you have got. Not for kudos and not for cash: your picture in the paper nor money in the bank either. Just refuse to bear them.” – William Faulkner
- Choose courage over selfishness, trust over fear, love over anger. You do not know the end of grace. There is much you cannot change but bring healing where you can. We are not promised to be given light, but to shine with light. Don’t become an enemy of the world and its brokenness. Stay tender. Become a source of comfort and joy for others. Let this purpose bear you through the darkness and you yourself will become light. Take courage; trust grace; stay connected; practice love. – Rev. Steve Garnaas-Holmes
I hope you can honor your sorrow, enjoy small moments find reminders that there is good in the world, and most importantly, find the flicker of light that can guide you in dark times.
Voting Resource
Good news! We’re nearing the end of this election rollercoaster. That means it is time to buckle down and engage in the great privilege of researching, discerning, and most importantly- voting. It is so tempting to be caught up in identity politics or have the headline of the day overshadow our civic duty of thoughtful consideration of the candidates and issues. This Carl Sagan quote seems to fit the moment:
We can judge our progress by the courage of our questions and the depth of our answers, our willingness to embrace what is true rather than what feels good.
The link below will hopefully make it a little easier to make sense of all the information out there. A few questions to consider:
- Does my vote consider all angles of the issue including who it impacts ? Have I considered what it would be like to be on the receiving end of this change?
- Does my vote lead to collaboration and community? (versus hostility)
- Are the sources I’m using to make my decision known for honesty or focused on persuasion?
- Is the candidate someone I would be willing to hire? Example: what kind of conduct and integrity have they shown? What does their resume show- qualifications, experience, etc. Who is financially connected to them? Who is willing to endorse them (and connect their reputation to this person)?
Thank you for doing all you can to ensure the voice of the people are represented in our leaders!