Depression and anxiety are notorious for burdening people until they are worn down, overwhelmed, and raw. However, their influence is so consistent, all-encompassing and predictable, that in time they are as comfortable as an old pair of shoes. We become conditioned to their presence and don’t recognize the subtle and suggestive ways they urge us to cooperate with their agenda. If not on guard, we can be pushed into behaviors that sabotage our well-being and work to make the anxiety and depression even more powerful.
The reality is that depression and anxiety are highly seductive and give off the illusion that they are being helpful. Anxiety, for example, is reinforcing because we believe that it offers us an edge. There is a sense that if a futuristic situation is considered in detail, there will be a game plan. However, that is not usually how anxiety plays out. The majority of time, there is only a limited amount of information available- we can only be prepared to a point. But rather than letting the issue rest, the scene continues to play, usually with the prediction that it will not end in a positive manner. Here is where anxiety becomes particularly sly. By continually reinforcing how this is a problem (and paying little attention to what strengths exist that could help effectively address the situation), anxiety can promote a self-fulfilling prophecy. Then when the situation does go sour, there is a sense that the anxiety helped. It reduced suffering because it allowed an opportunity to come to terms with “obvious” inadequacies and avoided the shock of having to face this all at once.
Depression is not much better. It creates a lens through which the world is experienced. As I mentioned in January’s article, this filter colors all forms of input. All evidence then serves to validate the beliefs, resulting in more certainty that the depression is accurate. In other words, depression wants you to believe it is being truthful. Believe you are a burden, believe you are forever broken or believe that there is no end in sight. The heaviness and hopelessness that are the offspring of this thinking serves to discourage hope and sink deeper into despair.
If we take an honest look at the kind of relationship created by these two entities, their presence takes on a much more menacing quality. Take them out of the internal sphere and treat them as if they were an external person. They can be described as people who are constantly around and have commentary about everything that has to do with us. The news is slanted, intending to chip away at our sense of resolve, confidence and competence. It seems like advice and counsel, but in reality it is anything but. Such a person is a bully at best, a stalker at worst.
Refuse to cooperate with this destructive agenda. See the insidious ways that anxiety and depression are actively compromising your life and find help. You have the choice to take charge and actively engage in thoughts, feelings and behaviors that will reverse the downward spiral and lead you to feeling empowered. If you want to learn more about how to do this or feel you need support to be successful, I am ready to rally behind you.