My Journal Entry: Silence Speaks

Topic:  what would silence say if it could speak to you

I have always been…. before ‘God spoke’ or space began to fill.  I am absolute.  I live between the atoms and the sound waves. I am larger than anything that has ever been or ever will be.  Contained within me is not something- but nothing.  I am.  No words, no images, no meanings and no pressures.  I just am.

Stop trying to use me beyond what I am.  Let me be.  Let us be.  Remove the projected requirements of what I am supposed to do.  Time does not matter.  Matter does not matter.  I am here- if you dare find me.

Question:  Why do we need you to be something?

Answer: That is not for me to answer.

Question: Why are you scary?

Answer: That is not me.  Something has been pretending to be me.

Question: Why are you sacred?

Answer: That is not me.  Something about you is being projected onto me.  Do not seek me with need.  Do not seek me with senses.  Stop trying.  I’m already there.

___________________

It is not uncommon for a client to be asked to journal as a way to further process what is emerging in and out of session.  For many years, I believed that this method of exploration was personally unnecessary because of how much time I spent reflecting in my head.  I’ve learned all too well that this is not nearly as effective as putting pen to paper.  Reading the words changes the experience.  We have a chance to pour out our  hearts and then later reflect on what was written from a more objective place (a key component of mindfulness and the ability to act from a centered place).  All kinds of juicy information can also emerge, like patterns in our thinking, information gaps/assumptions, and unnoticed places our own wisdom speaks.  In this case, it served as a vehicle for rich conversations.

I recently joined a writing group and we were asked to delve into our relationship with silence.  While my first entries were familiar responses, there was a point when I tapped into a voice I didn’t know was within me.  I shared what I wrote with other participants and the unanimous response was that I needed to provide a platform where it could be heard by more people.  That is the reason for the above entry.  I have no explanation. I don’t even know if it is grammatically correct.  That is the beauty of a journal entry.  However, if you find this to be thought provoking, feel welcome to consider what this brings up for you and how this might enable greater self-understanding or insight.

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