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# Side by Side Counseling

Wheat Ridge, CO 80033

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://sbscounseling.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Posts

- [Communication Buster: Defending Our Ego](https://sbscounseling.com/communication-buster-defending-our-ego/) - Ahhhh- communication. The endeavor that brings out the best and the worst in us. When we are with comfortable company, sharing and relaxed, things seem easy. But when there are differences or there might be an issue surfacing, things get a lot more complicated. A major problem is that our self-protective mechanisms come online, where
- [Executive Order Regarding Psychedelics](https://sbscounseling.com/executive-order-regarding-psychedelics/) - On April 18th, President Trump signed an executive order intended to accelerate research of the medical use of psychedelics, including a call to the FDA to expedite consideration for those medicines that meet certain criteria. People are buzzing at the news, marking a shift in attitudes towards the use of psychedelics as a treatment for
- [The Transgender Day of Visibility](https://sbscounseling.com/the-transgender-day-of-visibility/) - Today is the Transgender Day of Visibility, a chance to recognize and celebrate the lives of transgender and non-binary people. I am especially inspired by the community during this time in our nation’s history as they continue to bravely fight for a legitimized place in our society. At a time when prejudice and hate are
- [Avoiding Food Fights and Other Holiday Hostilities](https://sbscounseling.com/avoiding-food-fights-and-other-holiday-hostilities/) - It may be difficult to look forward to holiday get togethers. There is already the anticipation of the uncle who talks with his mouth full, grandma who smells like she put on all of Macy’s perfumes in the store, and dreaded pearl onions. This season, conversations might be extra challenging because of the political climate
- [Caring for Our Colorado Neighbors](https://sbscounseling.com/caring-for-our-colorado-neighbors/) - [et_pb_section admin_label=”section”] [et_pb_row admin_label=”row”] [et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text”] According to the Colorado Department of Human Services, more than 600,000 Coloradans receive SNAP grocery benefits. HALF of those recipients are children, 10% are elderly and 15% are living with disabilities. There are also those uncounted, who need support but do not qualify for government assistance. These are
- [It's Election Time!!!!](https://sbscounseling.com/its-election-time/) - With everything happening across the country, it’s easy to feel like only those with wealth or influence can truly make a difference. While there’s a lot we can’t control, elections present a real opportunity for our voices to matter. Right now in Jefferson County, three of the five seats on the education board are up
- [National Depression Awareness Month](https://sbscounseling.com/national-depression-awareness-month/) - October is National Depression Month, the time we recognize that there are over 16 million people dealing with this affliction at any given time. The struggle is real. Unlike a few days of being down in the dumps and binge-watching daytime TV in sweatpants, depression profoundly impacts people’s lives. A glimpse into an average day:
- [New Website](https://sbscounseling.com/new-website/) - After months of working with two lovely, very patient designers with Willow Bridge Creations, I am happy to announce that the Side By Side website has a brand new look. Please feel free to enjoy these amazing people’s artistic flare, adding mood and color to verbiage about specialties and primary approaches I use to bring
- [Neuroception](https://sbscounseling.com/neuroception/) - Life in a pandemic. How are we ever going to fully express what this chapter has been like? We have watched loved ones literally struggle for breath, a virus become politicized, safety-nets fail, and our sense of security in day-to-day normalcy prove painfully fragile. Of course, we’ve also rediscovered board games, cooking, and the love
- [Pride Fest is Here!](https://sbscounseling.com/pride-fest-is-here/) - Be warned. The following writing may seem slightly disjunct because I get so excited this time of year and it is hard to contain. It is a magical time, being amidst a throng of people to celebrate sexuality, sexual orientation, and gender diversity. The liberty of inclusion, where there is no need to defend or
- [Great Quote](https://sbscounseling.com/great-quote/) - “Every time you're given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.” Doyle, G. (2020) Untamed.
- [Relationships Mean a Thousand Funerals](https://sbscounseling.com/relationships-mean-a-thousand-funerals/) - I came across this poem and it struck a deep chord: To Love Someone Long-Term Is to Attend a Thousand Funerals of the People They Used to Be The people they’re too exhausted to be any longer.The people they don’t recognize inside themselves anymore.The people they grew out of, the people they never ended up
- [Is it Really Guilt?](https://sbscounseling.com/is-it-really-guilt/) - "It’s my fault.” Someone feels bad about what happened, most often involving someone they love. It is the mantra of guilt, the emotion that means a wrongdoing has occurred based on a social code. The code may be explicitly stated, such as written in a religious doctrine outlining a behavior as a sin, or a
- [Comedian Speaks About EMDR](https://sbscounseling.com/comedian-speaks-about-emdr/) - In 2018, comedian Adam Cayton-Holland published his first book, Tragedy Plus Time: A Tragi-Comic Memoir, highlighting his experience dealing with the impacts of his sister's suicide. Cayton-Holland described his books in these words, "If you’re expecting a guide to navigating life after grief, this isn’t it. It’s an honest look at mental illness, depression, death and
- [Coping With This Painful Time](https://sbscounseling.com/coping-with-this-painful-time/) - On a daily basis I hear overwhelming anxiety about all the calamities facing our communities, nation, and world. I’m sure these are all too familiar: global warming and the recent UN report, spiking COVID cases, an overwhelmed/depleted medical system, and Afghanistan, to name a few. It is understandable to want to wrap our heads around
- [New Afghan Neighbors](https://sbscounseling.com/new-afghan-neighbors/) - There are several programs in the metro-Denver area that need support in all kinds of ways. Individuals and families coming our way will have basic needs for food, shelter, medical care, and jobs. They will also need kind folks to help them acclimate to a culture vastly different than where they came from. Imagine trying
- [Part 1: The Quest: What is so Terrifying About Disappointing Others?](https://sbscounseling.com/the-quest-determine-what-is-so-terrifying-about-disappointment/) - I was having a casual conversation with a grandfather who loved his role through and through. As he talked about his delight spending time with his granddaughter, he mentioned, with a smile, that he could not say “no” to her. “If she gets a sad face or starts to cry, I just can’t stand it.”
- [It's Voting Time](https://sbscounseling.com/its-voting-time/) - I know that we talk about voting as a right, but in reality, it is a privilege. As shown in other forms of government (dictatorships, oligarchies , and monarchies, for example), our voices can be ignored or taken away. Please, use your voice- don't take this opportunity for granted. Be a wise voice, taking steps
- [Part 2: Fear of Disappointing Others: Disappointment Defined](https://sbscounseling.com/part-2-disappointment-defined/) - Disappointment is the grief we feel when reality falls far short from what we had hoped. It is a mixture of anger (not o.k.!), and sadness (loss) that naturally occurs when dreams fall flat, things change, accidents happen, or situations are beyond our control. Sometimes these moments are minor, like a friend not being available
- [Part 3: Fear of Disappointing Others - When Helping Is Harmful](https://sbscounseling.com/disappointment-when-helping-is-harmful/) - It is understandable that we want to be empathic and caring toward each other and do what we can to prevent causing another pain. This is not just a value system; it is hardwired into our very being! Through my exploration on this topic, I came across some fascinating facts that I can’t help but
- [Part 4: Fear of Disappointing Others - Hoping the Problem Will Just Go Away](https://sbscounseling.com/avoiding-disappointment-hoping-the-problem-will-just-go-away/) - [et_pb_section][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text] It is understandable that we want to avoid those things that are uncomfortable or involve risk. Even after being in the field for 25 years, I don’t relish the fact that some feedback I give is painful and hard to hear. It is tempting to try a variety of methods to force a situation
- [Part 5: Fear of Disappointing Others- Dealing with the Consequences](https://sbscounseling.com/part-5-disappointment-fear-of-the-consequences/) - [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”3.22″ global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off”][et_pb_row admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” _builder_version=”3.27.4″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”] Speaking up for ourselves can bring up significant distress. Many articles on the subject conclude that the discomfort is really about insecurity. For
- [Part 6: Fear of Disappointing Others- Misplaced Responsibility](https://sbscounseling.com/part-6-fear-of-disappointing-others-misplaced-responsibility/) - Jane is furious that a friend, Lisa, did not respond when she called. “I never reach out after 9 p.m. so if I do, it’s urgent!” No voicemail message was left. Jane concluded that if Lisa did not pick up or notice an attempted call and get back to her right away, Lisa was not
- [Another Threat to LGBTQ+ Rights](https://sbscounseling.com/another-threat-to-lgbtq-rights/) - [et_pb_section admin_label=”section”] [et_pb_row admin_label=”row”] [et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text”]The community that embodies the beautiful diversity of sexual orientation and gender identity is under relentless attack. In Florida, this aggression has been most apparent as policy makers attempted to ban words. The “Don’t Say Gay Bill” has already passed the House. There are also efforts to rewrite history
- [Part 7: Fear of Disappointing Others: Insufficient Ways to Deal with Distress](https://sbscounseling.com/part-7-insufficient-ways-to-deal-with-distress/) - When the moment arises to speak up, disappointing another person can be especially tough to get through if we are not in a grounded place. Emotional and mental messiness is fertile ground for anxiety. Images of consequences, rifts, and failure come to the surface, just when we need to have our wits about us. We
- [Great Local Resource for Medications](https://sbscounseling.com/great-local-resource-for-medications/) - I was introduced to a pharmacy that is almost too good to be true. The company is located in Denver and comes across like a family business with personable, capable staff and a delivery service that will bring the medication(s) to the location of your choice. The delivery window is usually within two hours and
- [Part 8: The Fear of Disappointing- The Final Reflection](https://sbscounseling.com/part-8-the-fear-of-disappointing-the-final-reflection/) - Thank you for joining me on this ten-month dive into the pervasive tendency to avoid disappointing others. The journey has been illuminating for me, allowing a window into some of the complex ways we maneuver through relationships. I can honestly say that I have so much more appreciation for what people must overcome to stay
- [The Mother of the Fallen Arvada Police Officer's Call to Action](https://sbscounseling.com/the-mother-of-the-fallen-arvada-police-officers-call-to-action/) - On 9/11/22, police officer Dillon Vakoff was killed in the line of duty. I had a chance to speak to his mother, Lisa Vakoff, who is responding to this tragedy with a call to action. She has been through many hardships, some which you or someone you know may relate to: being a single parent,
- [Upcoming Presentation: Changing Minds: The Art of Conversation and Persuasion](https://sbscounseling.com/upcoming-presentation-changing-minds-the-art-of-conversation-and-persuasion/) - We've got Election season in full swing and upcoming holiday gatherings with friends and family. It is inevitable that hard conversations are going to occur where we disagree and may even be tempted to bite one another. For three Sundays, I will guide participants in exploring how to engage while remaining civil and successfully sharing
- [Changing Minds: Part 1](https://sbscounseling.com/changing-minds-part-1/) - [et_pb_section admin_label=”section”] [et_pb_row admin_label=”row”] [et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text”]I’m outside working in my yard and a neighbor, not known for being friendly, walked up and asked about a yard sign I had out. I was excited to have a chance to engage in a thoughtful discussion but quickly realized this interaction was going to be anything but
- [Happy 20th Birthday, Side-By-Side Counseling!!!!](https://sbscounseling.com/happy-20th-birthday-side-by-side-counseling/) - I was in squishy pants, reading something I know was highly intellectual when it suddenly dawned on me- this month is the twentieth anniversary of Side-by-Side Counseling. Twenty Years!!!! While I am in comfortable denial that I’m two decades older than when I started, I can say it has been a compelling ride full of
- [Psychedelics and Mental Health](https://sbscounseling.com/psychedelics-and-mental-health/) - I was recently asked about a piece on psychedelics from the television show, “Last Week Tonight.” The host, John Oliver, did a great job talking about the complicated history around these chemicals in a therapeutic setting. For example, there are places where psychedelics have been considered an integral part of a community (ex: spiritual practices),
- [Changing Minds: Part 2     Build Rapport](https://sbscounseling.com/changing-minds-part-2-build-rapport/) - It’s time to get back to strategies for engaging in tough conversations. Using the basic principles of deep canvasing, the previous article focused on step 1, becoming curious about ourselves and our motivations to engage. This time, the focus is on the approach, working towards a respectful exchange. The tone for the conversation will be
- [Changing Minds Part 3: Time to Engage](https://sbscounseling.com/changing-minds-part-3-time-to-engage/) - It’s time to get back to discussing strategies to use when we disagree with others and when the outcome of a discussion has huge implications. In part 1, we explored our position and why a topic matters to us. In part 2, core principles were introduced to promote openness and respect in the interaction. This
- [Happy Pride Month!!!](https://sbscounseling.com/happy-pride-month/) - This is a time when we get to celebrate sexual and gender diversity, a reminder that human beings embody rich varieties of experiences and identities. The community also invites reconsideration of norms; norms that are so embedded in our culture that they are largely invisible. For the LGBTQ+ community, this process requires breathtaking courage, especially
- [Healthcare: Challenges for Women](https://sbscounseling.com/healthcare-challenges-for-women/) - Awhile back, I was sitting in my OBGYN’s office, anxious to hear what could be done about the night sweats that were significantly impacting my sleep. (One night with interrupted sleep is enough to make me grumpy. A few nights in a row, I may be found growling in the corner with a box of
- [Six Week Class: Adventures in Eldercare](https://sbscounseling.com/six-week-class-adventures-in-eldercare/) - Starting September 10th, I will be leading a six week Sunday School Class on Eldercare. I hope to help people learn, share, and support each other as we explore the unique experience of caring for loved ones during this stage of life. Please feel free to join us! September 10th: Developmental Perspectives September 17th: Legacy
- [The Developmental Needs of the Elderly, Part I](https://sbscounseling.com/the-developmental-needs-of-the-elderly-part-i/) - I was sitting in a hot tub on vacation and happened to have a gaggle of teenagers within earshot, talking about their adventures and relationship dramas of the day (Warming: I’m about to sound really, really old), when I was struck by the cyclical experience of human development. The conversations were so similar to the
- [Reconsidering Our Christmas Gift Spending](https://sbscounseling.com/reconsidering-our-christmas-gift-spending/) - Are you facing piles of catalogs, radio commercials, and emails/texts offering "Black Friday Discounts" at every turn? Do you have mailbox anxiety every time you open the lid and see stacks of ads? AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! There is a wonderful podcast by Tim Harford, called "Cautionary Tales." In his December 2022 episode called, "The Company That Cancelled
- [Developmental Needs of the Elderly, Part II](https://sbscounseling.com/developmental-needs-of-the-elderly-part-ii/) - The Complex Issue of Control The desire for control is a something we can all relate to. We can see this displayed in little kiddos who struggle to find independence in a world run by adults. Given the patronizing label of a “temper tantrum,” kids can become overwhelmed with distress when things don’t go as
- [Eruptions and Disruptions](https://sbscounseling.com/eruptions-and-disruptions/) - Unexpected, strong reactions could be the result of an emotional flashback, where the past is difficult to separate from the present.
- [Under Attack: Transphobia's Deadly Consequences](https://sbscounseling.com/under-attack-transphobias-deadly-consequences/) - You may have heard the tragic news…. On February 9th, 2024, while at school, sixteen-year-old Nex Benedict was assaulted in a bathroom by three older girls, causing the teen to fall and hit their head. The next day, Nex died from these wounds. Sadly, acts of violence are not an unfamiliar reality in the trans
- [Playing With Your Meds](https://sbscounseling.com/playing-with-your-meds/) - Fun Facts Herbal options are not regulated by the FDA You should not eat grapefruit if you are on a certain medication Lithium changes the amount of salt in your blood so it has to be closely monitored by a doctor to avoid impacts on your heart There were over 12 ads for medications during
- [Getting the Most Out Of Therapy: Part 1](https://sbscounseling.com/getting-the-most-out-of-therapy-part-1/) - There is that moment of clarity when you realize it’s time to get the support and expertise therapy provides. It is a decision that says you are a priority worth investing in, dedicating time, resources, and your heart to the process. For some, they are well-versed in this unique partnership. For others, it’s a new
- [Getting the Most Out of Therapy: Part 2](https://sbscounseling.com/getting-the-most-out-of-therapy-part-2/) - I’m about to go into a lengthy metaphor, so bear with me. There is a time in a plant’s life when it is given special attention because it’s struggling. It starts with a dedicated look into overall health of both the plant itself and the environment, then it’s time to create and implement a plan
- [Relationship Check-Ins](https://sbscounseling.com/relationship-check-ins/) - It is so easy to coast when things are going well in a relationship. Little frustrations and annoyances seem insignificant, so we go along without feeling a need to bring anything up and upset the good vibes. What goes unnoticed is on a very subtle level those “little” things are sitting in the back of our
- [The Difference Between Panic Attacks and Overwhelming Anxiety](https://sbscounseling.com/the-difference-between-panic-attacks-and-overwhelming-anxiety/) - I was all set to write about the “joys” of panic and anxiety but found a great article that summarizes the differences so why reinvent the wheel? The article includes the diagnostic criteria so you can label what is taking place in the body and accurately identify what is happening to distinguish the experience from
- [My Wishes for Trying Times](https://sbscounseling.com/my-wishes-for-trying-times/) - Sadly, this is not one of those articles where my wacky humor helps turn heavy topics into something light. This time my heart aches after reading about a group of kids who had to stay home from school for two days because political rhetoric led to a bomb threat at their school. Luckily, when I
- [Voting Resource](https://sbscounseling.com/voting-resource/) - [et_pb_section admin_label=”section”] [et_pb_row admin_label=”row”] [et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text”]Good news! We’re nearing the end of this election rollercoaster. That means it is time to buckle down and engage in the great privilege of researching, discerning, and most importantly- voting. It is so tempting to be caught up in identity politics or have the headline of the day
- [For Many, It Is A Dark Time](https://sbscounseling.com/for-many-it-is-a-dark-time/) - With the election largely over, we are left with sobering answers about who we are as a people, state, and nation. There are painful realities that have been revealed about how our leaders view the very citizens they serve and have promised that treatment will not be equal. Half of our nation has voted for
- [Day of Remembrance](https://sbscounseling.com/day-of-remembrance/) - Today marks the time of year when the trans community and their allies recognize those who have been killed due to hate crimes. There has been amplified demoralizing and terrifying scapegoating onto the community, amplifying the threats these beautiful human beings have to endure. I have no words- the painful reality that being authentic is
- [It Has Begun-](https://sbscounseling.com/it-has-begun/) - It's time for any political passivity to be a thing of the past. The efforts of the incoming president to strip away the balance of power and to revoke rights are underway. There is a bill under congressional consideration that would facilitate shutting down non-profits. According to the Nonprofit Association of Washington: "H.R.9495 has the
- [With Gratitude](https://sbscounseling.com/with-gratitude/) - I am blessed by so many people in my life. Thank you to the incredible clients I have the privilege to work with. You continually show me determination, resilience, and deep inner wisdom that serves to warm and inspire every day. Thank you to the community of colleagues who bring a depth and level of
- [Looking To the Horizon](https://sbscounseling.com/looking-to-the-horizon/) - The start of the new year is a great time to take stock and consider where we are in this moment of time and what we want to dream for the future. I invite you to find a few minutes to set a clear intention about your motivation and direction. This will serve as both
- [Facing Stormy Times: Part 1](https://sbscounseling.com/facing-stormy-times-part-1/) - Ever been in a situation where you need something badly but were too blind to notice? It happened to me in November when I was busy hiding under my bed covers, trying to avoid all the implications of the election results. A lovely person, similarly struggling, reached out and asked me to give a presentation
- [Would you write a letter?](https://sbscounseling.com/would-you-write-a-letter/) - Hello friends- On inauguration day, Bishop Mariann Budde spoke to Trump and the nation, asking for mercy to the marginalized groups he has been targeting. She specifically stated that frightened transgender people and immigrants are “our fellow human beings”. Bishop Budde is receiving condemnation for her remarks and Trump is demanding an apology. She remains
- [Facing Stormy Times: Part II- Seductive Mindsets](https://sbscounseling.com/facing-stormy-times-part-ii-seductive-mindsets/) - During hard times, there are tempting mindsets that can easily overtake us. If you doubt it, you can peek at social media or the news cycles and you’ll find people vehemently professing fury, all is lost, or desperation. While likely said with the best of intentions, they yield toxic fruit. This never helps people gain
- [Facing Stormy Times Part III: A New Way](https://sbscounseling.com/facing-stormy-times-part-iii-a-new-way/) - I see stormy times as phoenix moments- times when established ways or previous contributions are shown to be outdated. The adversity then catalyzes change. Every hero’s journey follows a similar arc: they must get kicked out of the nest and face a bunch of obstacles before they are worthy or capable of fulfilling their destiny.
- [Facing Stormy Times Part IV](https://sbscounseling.com/facing-stormy-times-part-iv/) - I want you all to know that I truly try to practice what I preach and implement the steps as often as I can. The personal benefits are noticeable- they have protected my heart from becoming hardened, I have not collapsed into despair, and there is a constant invitation to show up as my best
- [Psychedelic Support Services](https://sbscounseling.com/psychedelic-support-services/) - After a challenging, inspiring, and life-changing year, I am thrilled to announce that I have completed the 150 hour training with Integrative Psychiatric P in psychedelic support services. Thank you to all of those who have patiently tolerated scheduling hurdles to accommodate classes and groups, those who helped me determine how to apply new principles,
- [Happy 10th Anniversary!](https://sbscounseling.com/happy-10th-anniversary/) - Today we celebrate the 10th anniversary of the national legalization of same-sex marriage. This is a major milestone and a reminder that perseverance and passion can make a real difference. This is a celebration of love, respect, and equality. Let this be an inspiration to us all and a reminder to work towards a future
- [Emotions: The Color of Life!](https://sbscounseling.com/emotions-the-color-of-life/) - I delight in emotions. To me they are what makes life vivid and full of color. They can be messy, confusing, or even contradictory. They can provoke smiles or tears, the desire to shrink away or inspire. But I am aware that my attitude is not their norm. They are often misunderstood and for some,
- [Chat With Comedian Nancy Norton](https://sbscounseling.com/chat-with-comedian-nancy-norton/) - I just had a delightful evening with the indelible comedian, Nancy Norton. Nancy, a registered nurse, speaker, award-winning comedian, and proud mom, has brought to life the podcast, Tromedy. Her mission is to create a space where something as rich as trauma can be spoken about with a lighter voice. In this conversation, you get
- [Using AI with Therapy](https://sbscounseling.com/using-ai-with-therapy/) - I was on a walk the other day when someone asked, “My daughter isn’t ready to talk to a therapist, so what do you think about her using Chat GPT for a while?” It took all I had to maintain a neutral face because, unsurprisingly, I have a huge bias in this area. That didn’t
- [Another Approach To Addressing Your Inner Critic](https://sbscounseling.com/another-approach-to-addressing-your-inner-critic/) - [et_pb_section admin_label=”section”] [et_pb_row admin_label=”row”] [et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text”]The author in the following article offered some really great advice. It supports my strong belief that we should always try to honor the various parts of ourselves, because even if the approach is not helpful, good intensions are at the core. Next, it is rightly noted that any time we
- [Just for a Smile](https://sbscounseling.com/just-for-a-smile/) - As we stay home and try not to bite each other, perspective and finding positives are just what the therapist orders. Here is a cute video to enjoy and hopefully bring a smile! https://www.womansday.com/life/g32979681/cute-cat-photos/
- [Boundaries Make Life Easier](https://sbscounseling.com/boundaries-make-life-easier/) - Kristen was beside herself. She wanted to get to work on time today but had her hopes dashed when her daughter kept hitting the snooze button and missed the buss. Kristen now was rushing to so she could make time to drop her daughter off at school. Next, her shoulders fell when she saw her
- [Traits That Are Irresistible!](https://sbscounseling.com/traits-that-are-irresistible/) - Although we all want to be "yummy" to our partners, our attractiveness is only part of the picture. I have identified ten key qualities or traits that are absolutely irresistible. At the end of the article, you will either celebrate what you already possess or have ideas on what to work towards. Once these qualities
- [The Orlando Shooting](https://sbscounseling.com/the-orlando-shooting/) - I’m still reeling from the news in Orlando that a devastating decision led to the worst tragedy since 9-11. Someone, fueled by justification and hatred, deemed that the lives of over 100 people no longer mattered. The victims were people out on the town, enjoying music and friendship, when this stranger burst in and brutally
- [The Quest For Self-Esteem: First Stop Cruelty](https://sbscounseling.com/the-quest-for-self-esteem-first-stop-cruelty/) - Before we begin, spend the next several minutes writing down the honest feelings and beliefs you have about yourself. For instance, organized, thoughtful, out of control, or invisible, to name a few. Once completed, read this to a trusted support person aloud, acting as though you are sharing this about them, or read it as
- [How to Stop Personal Cruelty](https://sbscounseling.com/how-to-stop-personal-cruelty/) - Now that we've gotten to know our inner-critic better, the following suggestions are ways to take this important step towards self-directed kindness: Stop blindly believing in the scarcity model. There is enough love to go around. And it is not because of what we do or how we serve others, it is just because we exist. Refuse to
- [Self-Esteem:  Take Out the Trash](https://sbscounseling.com/self-esteem-take-out-the-trash/) - I cannot think of a better tale than the Ugly Duckling http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/UglDuc.shtml to show how our basic sense of goodness can be derailed by shame and rejection. In the story, a simple mishap of a baby swan inaccurately labeled a duckling becomes life-threatening. In just moments of being introduced, the farm animals become physically assaultive
- [The Quest for Self-Esteem: Listening](https://sbscounseling.com/the-quest-for-self-esteem-listening/) - We would be remiss to work on radical acceptance without touching on a major way we can value ourselves. As of yet, I have not encountered a person struggling with low self-esteem who has not been working diligently to deny or minimize their experience. Most of us have been taught to listen to others, but
- [The Quest for Self Esteem: Healthy Supporters](https://sbscounseling.com/the-quest-for-self-esteem-healthy-supporters/) - Hopefully previous articles have clarified that core beliefs about esteem are very stable but are also not set in stone. To be able to make changes, a lot of intention will be required, where every day you are practicing new habits that challenge self-deprecation and reinforce that you are a valuable human being. Laughter, fun,
- [Diving Into Forgiveness](https://sbscounseling.com/diving-into-forgiveness/) - For whatever reason, forgiveness has been a huge topic in my practice as of late. Some people are desperately seeking the relief that comes with this unique form of closure; others cringe at the mere thought of the idea. Wanting to help anyone considering forgiveness to find success, I am going to dedicate a few
- [Forgiveness](https://sbscounseling.com/forgiveness-2/) - “Forgiveness is a sort of divine absurdity which includes a willing relinquishment of certain rights. This is really a costly sacrifice of something of one’s self and an act of love-giving where there is no logical reason or any guarantee. It is a recognition that one must live with the consequences of the sin.” -
- [Hurt That Justifies Harm](https://sbscounseling.com/hurt-that-justifies-harm/) - As I have explored the various elements that make forgiveness so difficult to attain, it became apparent that those who hold onto their anger and resentment can easily slip into cruel retaliation. We want justice, not necessarily through due process but through our own version of what that should look like. Holy wars and generational
- [Pushing Through Procrastination](https://sbscounseling.com/pushing-through-procrastination/) - The following article is a great list of tips to move against our tendency to delay. We all do it- rationalize away any responsibility so we can enjoy short-term comfort with the simple word "later". However, people often cannot fully let go of the nagging reminder that something is still waiting to be addressed. Rather than have conflicted fun,
- [5 Things to Do When You Feel Insecure](https://sbscounseling.com/5-things-to-do-when-you-feel-insecure/) - Since I am going with a theme around self-esteem, I'd like to sprinkle in some wisdoms from others as well. The following is a sweet little article that hopes to minimize triggers and remind the person suffering that having a bad "self" day is something that can be survived. http://news360.com/article/187481800
- [The Quest for Self-Esteem](https://sbscounseling.com/the-quest-for-self-esteem/) - Self-esteem is a term that is thrown around all the time. So before I go any further, let me start by ensuring there is agreement about what this topic actually is. Self-esteem is the entrenched set of beliefs we hold about ourselves and our place in society. It is not intact at birth but develops
- [How To Help Your Therapist Help You](https://sbscounseling.com/how-to-help-your-therapist-help-you/) - If you're wondering what could help your therapy have more momentum, yield greater relief, and provide more transformative results, the following article has my top favorite ideas: http://news360.com/article/291480213. With these tips, you and your therapist can be a powerful team.
- [Reflections of An Article On Forgiveness](https://sbscounseling.com/reflections-of-an-article-on-forgiveness/) - I recently came across an article about forgiveness and found myself a bit curious about some of the statements. Since it is tempting to believe anything that has the term, “according to scientists”, I thought I would utilize my critical thinking to ensure the accuracy of what is being said. So, if you are up
- [A Historic Decision](https://sbscounseling.com/a-historic-decision/) - It is a time for celebration! Five Supreme Court justices have legalized same-sex marriage in all fifty states. These couples can now enjoy: The ability to be with their partner in times of medical emergencies The opportunity to share the same health insurance policy Full benefits from Veteran Affairs and Social Security Medical leave benefits According to
- [Homosexuality and Christianity](https://sbscounseling.com/homosexuality-and-christianity/) - As the nation responds to the Supreme Court decision to legalize same-sex marriage, there are individuals who are struggling with this monumental social change. The following information is being provided in an effort to inform and ease the strain. Common Arguments Opposing Homosexuality It is a lifestyle choice Since the 1950s, scientific studies have determined
- [Messy Empathy](https://sbscounseling.com/messy-empathy/) - In a delightful article, Stern and Divecha discuss the common struggle of caring to the point of getting lost in the pain of another. Perhaps you know someone who believes s/he is responsible to fix other people's problems or worries. Or perhaps s/he becomes weighed down because of a conviction that it is unfathomable to be happy when a loved one
- [Are Boundaries A Way To Justify Excluding People?](https://sbscounseling.com/are-boundaries-a-way-to-justify-excluding-people/) - One of the things I appreciate is when someone asks great questions about a concept to ensure the principles fit with personal experience and values. One such situation just happened around the idea of boundaries, “If having healthy boundaries means becoming clearer about expectations, do we send away (by intention or self-selection) those people who
- [We Like To Be Right](https://sbscounseling.com/we-like-to-be-right/) - The following article talks about a phenomenon that has been well researched over the years called confirmation bias. http://www.smartthinkingbook.com/2012/10/you-end-up-believing-what-you-want-to.html Although he does not use that terminology specifically, his reflection is the same: people have a strong tendency to see a situation in a way that confirms what they already believed or suspected. The more this
- [Our Response to Tragedy](https://sbscounseling.com/our-response-to-tragedy/) - There has recently been a tragedy so horrific, there is no word that can capture the nature of the crime or the surrounding sentiment it has provoked. Jessica Ridgeway, a ten year old girl living in the suburb where my practice is located, was brutally murdered this past month. From the time of her disappearance
- [A Wish For You On The Day Of Gratitude](https://sbscounseling.com/a-wish-for-you-on-the-day-of-gratitude/) - A Gathering Of Life It is not the passing of years but the ripening wisdom of living It is not just the toll taken but a well of receiving and giving It's not just the people come and gone but the heart's many faces and forms. Not just the winds of change and chance but a weathering
- [Day of Rememberance](https://sbscounseling.com/day-of-rememberance/) - There are numerous people who are discriminated against, harassed, and even murdered. One such group is the transgender community and they annually honor all of those whose lives have ended in the past year due to hideous hate crimes. If you have any interest in learning about a group that is misunderstood and persecuted, I
- [Thought for the Day](https://sbscounseling.com/thought-for-the-day-2/) - Even after all this time The Sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. - Sufi potet Hafiz
- [The Connection Between Secrets and Shame](https://sbscounseling.com/the-connection-between-secrets-and-shame/) - Jannette Walls, author of her autobiography, "The Glass Castles"tells Oprah Winfrey about the shame she lived with for years. Inspite of hard earned success, her secrets created this belief that she was a fraud.. Taking advice from her mother, she found what could set her free. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naAy_juIOQk
- [Holiday Survival](https://sbscounseling.com/holiday-survival/) - It is a common phenomenon in times of stress or struggle to turn our priorities upside down and alienate ourselves from the very things that can sustain us. We then operate out of deficiency rather than from a place of fullness and plenty. We will see the impacts of this all around: people yelling at
- [Understanding Mental Struggles](https://sbscounseling.com/understanding-mental-struggles/) - There is an idea that seems to endure despite research: people with mental health concerns deserve to be judged. It is believed they either lack self-control, are weak, or are simply undesirable burdens in society. I have even heard people state that the real issue is the consequence of sin. These beliefs harm people in
- [Emotional Abuse](https://sbscounseling.com/emotional-abuse/) - Emotional abuse is one of the most insidious ways one person can cause harm to another human being. Through constant jibes directed at one's self-esteem, even the most confident person can be broken down over time. Sometimes it is obvious, like name calling and threats. Other times, it involves comments that undermine, manipulate, and emotionally bruise. The
- [How Does It Feel?](https://sbscounseling.com/how-does-it-feel/) - We usually think of bullying as something that is between kids on the schoolyard. It is so easy to dismiss as an isolated issue, yet purposefully hurting someone is a human trait that is not limited to some developmental stage. There are interactions that often happen with a twinkle in the eye, provoking little thought (or guilt). Sometimes they are
- [The Path To Happiness- Part I](https://sbscounseling.com/the-path-to-happiness-part-i/) - According to Aristotle, we are all on a journey to find true happiness, a treasure so extraordinary that it satisfies in the deepest sense. No matter the external circumstances or imperfections, happiness produces the fruit of lasting tranquility and rich contentment. Yet it is no easy prize to attain. As admired thinkers have shared, the
- [The Path To Happiness- Part 2](https://sbscounseling.com/the-path-to-happiness-part-2/) - Like anything worthwhile, the search for happiness is not an easy journey. Luckily, the very qualities that are created along the way become the foundations needed for long term success. I encourage you to take your time with each element, and determine what resonates that needs development in your life. Below are the last two elements that will
- [Thoughtful Versus Knee-Jerk Reactions](https://sbscounseling.com/thoughtful-versus-knee-jerk-reactions/) - "Failing to plan is planning to fail." This statement highlights the importance of taking steps towards being successful so when something comes up, we are in a strong position to handle it. The following article is one such opportunity. So often, we go throughout life responding on autopilot, letting our emotions, assumptions, or initial
- [Fascinating Facts About Anxiety](https://sbscounseling.com/fascinating-facts-about-anxiety/) - The following is a fantastic article that highlights some of the lesser known facets of anxiety and how it alters our functioning on every level: http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/10/8-fascinating-facts-about-anxiety.php I especially appreciated the description of how perception is changed. While the author focused on sensory input, the filtering system of stimuli is also severely compromised. At a certain level
- [Bullying Documentary On The Way](https://sbscounseling.com/bullying-documentory-on-the-way/) - There’s a fascinating doc coming out called "Bully", where it shows footage of children enduring the abuse as well as some of the consequences. See the trailer here: http://youtu.be/5114WHxofzU Unfortunately, the MPAA gave it an R rating due to language, almost guaranteeing no kids will see it and certainly making it more difficult for the movie to be
- [Research On Memories](https://sbscounseling.com/research-on-memories/) - There has been a great deal of discussion in the field about the way memories are stored. Working collaboratively with other fields, there has been a strong belief that our experiences affect us on numerous levels (specific postures can trigger a memory, massage therapists often describe people with spontaneous emotional outbursts when they rub certain muscles, and there
- [All Stressed Out and No One to Choke](https://sbscounseling.com/all-stressed-out-and-no-one-to-choke/) - Rather than working in survival mode and inching ever closer to critical mass, this seminar will give you the tools you need to stay grounded and avoid assault charges. Increase awareness of red flags by understanding the emotional, cognitive, phsycial and spiritual impacts of stress. Then learn strategies that can positively mpact your overall lifestyle as well as provide
- [Snare of Suffering #5: It'll Never End](https://sbscounseling.com/snare-of-suffering-7-itll-never-end/) - When you are in the midst of something painful, it is hard to believe that anything else positive exists. The struggle seems to impact everything- energy, attitudes, opportunities, and even hope. Like spoiling food in the fridge, we can’t sense the vitality- everything is unpleasant until the source of the problem is eliminated. Here is
- [Snare 6: Comparing](https://sbscounseling.com/snare-6-comparing/) - While facilitating a group for sexual abuse survivors, I learned to issue a warning every time a new member joined the fold. For some reason, there was a strong tendency to rate trauma, using measures like the degree of the assault and the number of times the abuse occurred. The conclusion would determine how much
- [Article on Anti-Depressants](https://sbscounseling.com/article-on-anti-depressants/) - The following is a recent editorial on the tendency our culture has to both see anti-depressants as a quick fix and to resist them because they are not "real" help. http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/06/hey-lets-not-get-carried-away-anti-depressants-really-do-help-people/257976/ Dr. Peter Kramer, a clinical professor of psychiatry at BrownUniversity, is adamant that depression is not just a “disorder”. It is now defined as
- [It's All About Perception](https://sbscounseling.com/its-all-about-perception/) - In the last article about the snare of suffering, I talked about how comparing a personal struggle to another's can be helpful at times, but more often than not can serve as a way to minimize pain or create judgement. I was intrigued by this blog where other points were brought up about this subject. In
- [Snare of Suffering #7: Avoidance](https://sbscounseling.com/snare-of-suffering-7-avoidance/) - Rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3-4) If you are in the middle of a struggle as you read these words, don’t be surprised if you have a sudden urge to throw your computer across the room. When pain is the strongest, these words
- [A Brave Disclosure Involving Years of Sexual Abuse](https://sbscounseling.com/a-brave-disclosure-involving-years-of-sexual-abuse/) - The following is a woman's brave account of surviving five years of abuse at the hands of a pedophile. Rather than focus on the abuse itself, she does a beautiful job of highlighting the devastation caused by such an act, especially how it transmits to other relationships, her day to day functioning, and even the
- [Protect Your Mental Health](https://sbscounseling.com/protect-your-mental-health/) - The following is an article about the damaging affects of being around complainers: http://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/listening-to-complainers-is-bad-for-your-brain.html Please note that a complainer is not the same as someone who is going through a hard time and needs support. It's easy to tell the difference because the complainer is never looking for solutions, only company in their misery. They put the worst
- [Lady Gaga Makes Courageous Disclosure](https://sbscounseling.com/lady-gaga-makes-courageous-disclosure/) - Lady Gaga recently shared a photo of herself clad in a yellow lingerie bikini and disclosed an eleven year battle with body dysmorphia, bulimia, and anorexia. http://littlemonsters.com/image/5061bde86d1be6f92e0014f2 I appreciate her willingness to share something so personal. Hopefully it will raise awareness, help fellow suffers feel less alone, and clarify that an eating disorder is not a diet plan
- [Fascinating Read](https://sbscounseling.com/fascinating-read/) - I just finished a book that highlighted a common form of the behaviors listed in the last post- specifically, dehumanization, a lack of accountability, fanaticism, and a lack of accountability. It occurs when we use social media to create public shaming. As I read the various stories of both positive impacts and devastations, there were so many examples
- [Platitudes](https://sbscounseling.com/platitudes/) - A client recently shared an article that highlighted another hardship people have to deal with in times of difficult- stupid platitudes. (see below) I’m sure we have all been there, where someone tries to give “comfort” with some statement that is supposed to put a silver lining around pain. While I the person believes that
- [Mindfulness In a Nutshell](https://sbscounseling.com/mindfulness-in-a-nutshell/) - The following article does a great job of introducing us to mindfulness, noting some key benefits and complementary exercises: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2016/01/mindfulness/. Some people get intimidated by the term, envisioning success only by donning a monk's cloak and meditating for years in a cave. It does not have to be that way, there are levels of practice and intensity that can range
- [Trans-Phobia and the Dangerous Legislation You Should Know About](https://sbscounseling.com/trans-phobia-and-the-dangerous-legislation-you-should-know-about/) - There was a recent segment on The Daily Show that had a fantastic piece on aspects of being transgender. Some elements were subtle, like Trevor Noah not falling for the common trap of asking Angelica Ross about her genitalia, but instead treating his guest like a three-dimensional human being. But there was also a segment
- [5 Tips to Improve Your Self-Talk](https://sbscounseling.com/5-tips-to-improve-your-self-talk/) - The following is a lighthearted but great approach to those nagging tapes in our heads that gradually wear us down. The tips demonstrate how we do not have to be at the mercy of these messages, just like we would want to stand up to an obnoxious, arrogant person putting us down. However, do not
- [Kava: Warnings About This Anti-Anxiety Supplement!](https://sbscounseling.com/kava-warnings-about-this-anti-anxiety-supplement/) - A local doctor recently share that the common herb used for anxiety, Kava, needs significant caution and doctor’s oversight. Based on recent research, it not only has risks like impacting the effectiveness of birth control, some users have had liver damage in there have even been deaths. We must be aware that just because something
- [Depression: More Than Just An Attitude Problem](https://sbscounseling.com/depression-more-than-just-an-attitude-problem/) - Every year, I am struck by how far we still have to go to learn what is going on in the depressed brain. 7.6 % of US citizens ages 12(1) and up suffer per year, and medications are unable to help at least 1/3 of those afflicted. Part of the struggle is the sheer complexity of this
- [How Therapy Helps the Grieving Process](https://sbscounseling.com/how-therapy-helps-the-grieving-process/) - I am delighted to respond to a request about grief. The specific question was based on the statement from Jesus, “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted." He wanted to know how that fits with modern counseling. This is an important question because many people see no point in examining the past.
- [Making Communication Even Better!](https://sbscounseling.com/making-communication-even-better/) - Being Able to Still Like Each Other Even When We Disagree It can be so frustrating to try to use the core skills of communication and still feel like the conversation is stuck. “But I’m using eye contact, open posture, and reflections!” It’s because they are not enough. Communication can be a maddening, complicated mess.
- [A Friendly Way to Understand Mindfulness](https://sbscounseling.com/a-friendly-way-to-understand-mindfulness/) - One of the key ways to move from reactivity to thoughtful intention is to engage in mindfulness. This set of skills is intended to help us step back from a situation and determine what factors are contributing to our emotions and how best to respond in a way that is both in line with our
- [Interesting Facts About Forgiveness](https://sbscounseling.com/interesting-facts-about-forgiveness/) - We live in a world where we deal with human error, conflicting motivations, and different needs. In other words, human interactions are complicated. Sadly, some of those experiences are painful, anywhere from disappointing to traumatizing. A major challenge is to figure out how to live with these wounds without being forever weighed down by anger,
- [New Voices in Politics](https://sbscounseling.com/new-voices-in-politics/) - There are so many human rights issues that are challenging respect for diversity and dignity. We are being called to not continue the fight for progress, but to also protect the huge strides that have been hard fought. Last Tuesday, a group of voters did just that. Exciting new voices have been added to the
- [It's Time To Wake Up!](https://sbscounseling.com/1339-2/) - We are in the middle of a social awakening. Brave individuals are coming forward and acknowledging the sexual dangers women face on a daily basis. With the growing number of voices, society cannot minimize or pretend that this is not a pervasive issue. A male friend recently said to me, "I don't know how any
- [Hugs](https://sbscounseling.com/hugs/) - I thought this article might be well-timed as we interact with family, coworkers, and friends during the holiday season. Sometimes physical interactions can be welcome, particularly when they match levels of intimacy that seem to fit with the relationship. But then there can be hugs that uncomfortable or worse, creepy. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2266373/Hugging-lower-blood-pressure-boost-memory.html Here are some factors
- [The Psychopath Test](https://sbscounseling.com/the-psychopath-test/) - It’s been nearly a week since the tragic events took place at a Florida high school, the largest school massacre in our nation’s history. I remember Columbine- before this I naively believed churches and schools had some unspoken protection when it came to gun violence. Perhaps it was because the biggest drills I practiced were
- [Anxiety versus Panic](https://sbscounseling.com/anxiety-versus-panic/) - It is not uncommon for people struggling with anxiety to misunderstand the differences between their intense feelings and panic attacks. The following article does a fantastic job clarifying the difference between these two experiences and the reasons behind them. http://www.healthyway.com/content/panic-attack-symptoms-to-keep-in-mind-even-if-you-havent-been-diagnosed-with-anxiety/ For those with panic disorder, or even times of acute distress, I have found that
- [Finding the Right Therapist](https://sbscounseling.com/finding-the-right-therapist/) - Finding the right therapist might seem a little daunting. Although there is a whole process to finding who is available and what kind of provider fits your needs, the focus of this article is to provide some game plan when you take that first step into someone’s office. Once you’re face to face, both parties
- [Inspiring Story of Kim Noble](https://sbscounseling.com/inspiring-story-of-kim-noble/) - It is easy to become discouraged when weighed down with issues and mental health challenges. To counteract despair or discouragement, it is important to seek out stories that offer different perspectives, hope, and resiliency. The following was something I came across that took my breath away. A woman with multiple personalities found a way for
- [Just Breathe](https://sbscounseling.com/just-breathe/) - Of all the tools I use to help clients, nothing beats “belly breathing”. Over and over again, I have seen someone highly upset or feeling out of control, enjoy some relief by taking few minutes to slow down and fully fill their lungs. The impact can even be felt in the body; muscles relax, blood
- [Just Show Up](https://sbscounseling.com/just-show-up/) - It’s been a hard couple of weeks talking with multiple people dealing with painful hardships that have no answers or perceived end in sight. The situation is bad enough in and of itself, but adding a lack of information makes it unbearable. For example, an undiagnosed medical concern or perhaps an unstable loved one who
- [Big "T" and Little "t" Traumas](https://sbscounseling.com/big-t-and-little-t-traumas/) - I was seven years old, sitting on top of the monkey bars and starring down at my shoes. My pony tail was in knots after spending recesses pretending the gravel was hot lava and jumping around on the jungle gym until our flying horses cold swoop down and take us to safety. But all that
- [The Evolution of Our Inner Critic](https://sbscounseling.com/the-evolution-of-our-inner-critic/) - The New York Times recently posted a fascinating article on how our evolution predisposes us to emphasize negative experiences more than the positives. https://nytimes.com/2018/05/22/smarter-living/why-you-should-stop-being-so-hard-on-yourself.html A few examples are provided as to how the critic works but I would like to include other common tools that contribute to the attack on our self-esteem: Comparisons- we dwell
- [When Is It Emotional Abuse?](https://sbscounseling.com/when-is-it-emotional-abuse/) - https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201609/when-is-it-emotional-abuse?eml This article seems well-timed after post on different kinds of trauma. As Chloe Dykstra’s courageous disclosure explains, emotional abuse is an insidious process where an abuser works methodically to break down a person’s resources and replace it with their malignant agenda of control. Sometimes we can readily identify such a person (like a critical,
- [Medications for Mental Health](https://sbscounseling.com/medications-for-mental-health/) - The topic of medication is a complicated one. I have had heard repeatedly from clients that they do not want to even consider going down this path, for good reasons. We are all too aware of personal and public stories where pills have been handed out like candy. People have seen loved ones dealing with
- [Sometimes Communication is Knowing When Not to Talk](https://sbscounseling.com/sometimes-communication-is-knowing-when-not-to-talk/) - I don’t think it is any great mystery that a major factor in a healthy relationship is good communication. What is not typically emphasized is that what we don’t say can be just as important as what comes out of our mouths. A messy, escalated conversation where we have a verbal vomit is the equivalent
- [Finding Forgiveness](https://sbscounseling.com/finding-forgiveness/) - Forgiveness is a hot topic because so many times it has been used as pressure to move on. "It's in the past- let it go." I have chosen to dedicate the next few articles to this endeavor, not as a voice stating it as a requirement, but rather, to highlight just how challenging it can
- [Reinacting Trauma](https://sbscounseling.com/reinacting-trauma/) - The following is a wonderful summary of a common experience among trauma survivors. The author, Bessel Vander Kolk, is a highly respected authority on trauma, known for his research and application of treatment modalities. As I have already heard from several individuals, this has made sense of some choices/behaviors that before were confusing. The compulsion
- [Apologies That Help Heal](https://sbscounseling.com/apologies-that-help-heal/) - Yes, it’s another article on forgiveness, but this time, the message is intended for those who have been wronged. I have seen so many people struggle to move on after an incident, feeling guilty that they have some kind of character flaw that keeps them stuck. Yet, in so many cases, the real problem is
- [Reactions to Blasey Ford's Allegations](https://sbscounseling.com/reactions-to-blasey-fords-allegations/) - It is hard to fully describe the reactions emerging since Dr. Christine Blasey Ford made sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh. Clients, friends, colleagues and I share disgust as we watch waves of cruelty crash down on Ford for revealing her truth. Having seen over and over again the price survivors have
- [Keeping Thoughts In Check](https://sbscounseling.com/keeping-thoughts-in-check/) - The following article does a wonderful job highlighting how a thought is not to be taken at face value but something to be worked with. Instead of letting the mind run amok with negative self-talk, the author gives a step-by-step approach to address this tendency head on. She encourages an exploration into the internal messages,
- [Snare 4: Oozing Anger](https://sbscounseling.com/snare-4-oozing-anger-2/) - When we are struggling it’s not uncommon to feel frustrated that things seem out of our control and uncomfortable. It feels personal- things are happening to me, as if on purpose, rather than a part of life’s up and downs. We don’t like feeling impotent; we want to be able to take the pain away.
- [Radio Show Update](https://sbscounseling.com/radio-show-update/) - Thank you to all who listened to the show Friday, hoping to hear about bullying in step-families.Here is a link that allows you to listen at your leisure: http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/stepwisdom/id485508440 . Some ideas that you can look forward to hearing: Bullying is a euphemism for behavior that is hurtful and frightening. We need to recognize that it
- [Experience With Failed Dreams](https://sbscounseling.com/experience-with-failed-dreams/) - Conan O'Brien recently gave a commencement speech at Dartmouth College that had a lot of wise counsel amidst the laughs. He shared recent difficulties of failing to meet his dream of hosting the Tonight Show and how that path changed him. He stated, "Niche famously said, 'That what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' What most don't
- [Study about PTSD and the Immune System](https://sbscounseling.com/study-about-ptsd-and-the-immune-system/) - The following is a recent article that shows a link between trauma and the effects on the body. In many ways, this is not new information. For some time we have known that stress directly impacts the body's chemistry, which can have impacts on a person's physical, social, emotional, and spiritual well-being. This is further confirmation, and a
- [Does Diet Soda Cause Weight Gain?](https://sbscounseling.com/does-diet-soda-cause-weight-gain/) - The following is an interesting presentation about the effects of pH values in food and their impacts on the body. One fact I found especially noteworthy was the link of diet soda to weight gain! It is suggested that this relationship exists because the soda contains phosphoric acid. This chemical directly impacts iodine levels, a
- [Hints For Effective Communication](https://sbscounseling.com/hints-for-effective-communication/) - Do you ever leave a conversation wondering what the heck went wrong? In spite of best intentions, did you walk away feeling misunderstood and at odds with the other person? You are not alone. We talk all the time in our society, yet we often don’t understand the complexity of our interactions. Unaware of what
- [How Important Is Accuracy When Dealing With Trauma?](https://sbscounseling.com/how-important-is-accuracy-when-dealing-with-trauma/) - Below is a fascinating article that talks about how the brain remembers trauma. There is particular focus on what is called, “flashbulb memories”, incredibly detailed recollections that seem imprinted on our brains due to the activation of the fight-or-flight mechanics. The memories then stand out in our history, like ink spots on a white sheet.
- [Practical Advice About Bullying](https://sbscounseling.com/practical-advice-about-bullying/) - The following is a news article that helps highlights some simple strategies parents and caregivers can utilize to support children's emotional intelligence. Through certain kinds of conversations and modeling, children develop a sense of self and compassion for others. They also learn about strong character and the importance of speaking up. The only way to stop injustice
- [Thought for the day](https://sbscounseling.com/thought-for-the-day/) - I have heard many people despair that they feel afraid about something and then conclude that they are weak or somehow less than. Fear is a natural emotion that surfaces when stepping into unknown territory, facing something without enough tools or resources, or there is a lack of safety in some way. This reaction is a call to action to be cautious and
- [Impacts of Managed Care on Therapy](https://sbscounseling.com/impacts-of-managed-care-on-therapy/) - Impacts of Managed Care on Therapy Even though health care is a hot topic, people often lack awareness of how policies directly affect them. “Behavioral health” (a.k.a. mental health insurance) is no exception. Rather than being put off guard by unexpected impacts, the following is an overview of some main issues that surface when an
- [Managing Holiday Munching](https://sbscounseling.com/managing-holiday-munching/) - This is the time of year when there is more permission than ever to stuff ourselves silly. There are parties that bring all kinds of culinary delights, neighbors toting plates of cookies and good cheer, and Grandma who made that traditional dessert from the old country. One bite at a time, we take in extra
- [5 Logical Fallacies That Make You Wrong More Than You Think](https://sbscounseling.com/5-logical-fallacies-that-make-you-wrong-more-than-you-think/) - When engaged in heated discussions, we often focus on what personal baggage we bring or what old messages might be getting in the way. The following article, written by Kathy Benjamin, highlights that there are other biological factors to consider as well. Many experts in social psychology have been aware of the phenomenon she describes,
- [Snare 2: Despair](https://sbscounseling.com/snare-2-despair/) - I caught myself in this one just recently. A major event occurred that knocked the wind out of me. As I noticed my difficulty being comforted by friendly advice, it became evident that it all their words felt empty. They had no guarantees that the situation would turn out well and I was certain that
- [Changing the Mental Health Diagnostic Manual](https://sbscounseling.com/changing-the-mental-health-diagnostic-manual/) - A client recently sent me this link, highlighting the decision making process around a diagnosis. In particular, this article focuses on the recent consideration that bereavement may no longer be excluded from the criteria of depression. http://mobile.nytimes.com/2012/01/25/health/depressions-criteria-may-be-changed-to-include-grieving.xml?single=1. As the date nears for final revisions for the DSM-V,(the diagnostic manual for mental health) it is highly likely that more
- [The Seven Snares of Suffering](https://sbscounseling.com/the-seven-snares-of-suffering/) - Sometimes life is hard. A universal reality is that we all have dark times marked by pain and struggle, yet we often don’t realize that along this time in our journey there are certain mental snares that crop up. When they take hold, they distract us with meanings and interpretations that keep us weighed down
- [Snare 3: Fixation With Happiness](https://sbscounseling.com/snare-3-fixation-with-happiness/) - We seem to be obsessed with happiness. I’m not talking about that profound state of contentment that years of meditating in a cave might provide. I’m talking about a strongly held belief that life should be comfortable and enjoyable. When someone with depression enters my office, a stated goal is “to become happy.” It is
- [On Fear...](https://sbscounseling.com/on-fear/) - The following is reflection on fear and how we tend to lose sight of the present because of our focus on what has already happened or what could go wrong. Although it is not officially one of the snares of suffering I was going to address, it is similar to my recent thoughts about anger. http://www.wimp.com/nofear/
- [Get Rid of Those Lenses](https://sbscounseling.com/get-rid-of-those-lenses/) - Self-esteem is often mistaken as a description of the actual person. In reality, it is merely the lens through which the world and existence is interpreted. These imposed meanings then direct beliefs, emotions and behaviors. The result is a self-fulfilling prophecy that ignores large chunks of the moment. Information that does not fit the lens
- [Preparing for Challenging Discussions](https://sbscounseling.com/preparing-for-challenging-discussions/) - Being able to speak your mind and addressing concerns with others is vital for a relationship to remain healthy and progressive. It also does wonders for self-esteem because there is an ability to meet needs, fostering a sense of empowerment. However, successful resolution takes skill, planning, and finesse. This month we will cover attitude preparation
- [Confrontation Countermoves](https://sbscounseling.com/confrontation-countermoves/) - Emotionally charged discussions are uncomfortable, often because we are talking about what needs fixing rather than what is going well. Defensiveness is highly probable. It is very common that attempts are made to divert the discussion. When energy is spent on anything but the issue at hand, and therefore the status quo is maintained, the
- [Bullying is More Than Kid's Play](https://sbscounseling.com/bullying-is-more-than-kids-play/) - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36083481/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/?GT1=43001 Above is a link to an article where MSNBC authors chose to headline a tragic story using language that softens the brutality suffered by a young woman. “Unrelenting bullying,” they called it. I can almost hear someone reply, “Oh, that’s just kids being kids.” But when you get into the meat of the article
- [Rethink Failure](https://sbscounseling.com/rethink-failure/) - "He who never makes mistakes, never makes anything," - English Proverb. The fear of failure has claimed many a dreamer. Just when creativity and energy start taking hold, the dreaded self-doubt comes in and destroys hope like a frost to early blooms, “But what if I fail?” The imagination then switches from realizing potential greatness
- [Our Internal Propaganda](https://sbscounseling.com/our-internal-propaganda/) - The other day, I was enjoying listening to someone critique a commercial. “All the kids in this commercial are skinny.” “What does blowing bubbles have to do with eating a hamburger?” She was identifying forms of manipulation. The effect of her clarity was an outward rolling of her eyes but internally, she had an intellectual
- [The Seduction of Depression and Anxiety](https://sbscounseling.com/the-seduction-of-depression-and-anxiety/) - Depression and anxiety are notorious for burdening people until they are worn down, overwhelmed, and raw. However, their influence is so consistent, all-encompassing and predictable, that in time they are as comfortable as an old pair of shoes. We become conditioned to their presence and don’t recognize the subtle and suggestive ways they urge us
- [Remember Your Audience](https://sbscounseling.com/remember-your-audience/) - Assertively asking for what you need is the number one way you can become empowered and connected in a relationship. There is no more guessing and no more complaining. Instead, the focus is on getting needs met with honesty and respect. But there is more to assertiveness than just having a voice. That voice must
- [Time Management: Investing In Each Moment](https://sbscounseling.com/time-management-investing-in-each-moment/) - Let's take a deliberate look at the way we manage our lives so we can begin to operate with choice and purpose rather than hanging on by our finger nails as the world rushes past.
- [The Love Language of Gift Giving](https://sbscounseling.com/the-love-language-of-gift-giving/) - With all of the hubbub about Christmas shopping and the latest gadgetry, it can be hard to see presents as anything but mere consumerism. But giving to others does not have to be just another meaningless obligation. Giving a gift can be a powerful way to communicate how special someone is in your life. If
- [Forget Resolutions: Become Who You Want To Be](https://sbscounseling.com/forget-resolutions/) - It’s that cheerful time of year when we begin to dream of what can be. Some of us hope to learn a new language, some gain a new hobby and others just hope to master the use of utensils. The point is, we are looking for ways to shape a better tomorrow. Yet to move
- [Childbirth Trauma](https://sbscounseling.com/childbirth-trauma/) - Childbirth trauma can cause not only physical pain but also emotional pain. The impact of childbirth trauma may seem everlasting but by taking steps towards recovery healing will take place. To understand what type of impact childbirth trauma typically has on women and what someone can do to recover from childbirth trauma, I have interviewed therapist Tania C. Henderson, MA, NCC, LPC.
- [Real "Happily Ever After"](https://sbscounseling.com/real-happily-ever-after/) - With February being the month of love, it seemed fitting to look into what such an experience is all about. The Romantic tradition claimed that being “in love” was a disease. If I put on my “clinical” hat, they aren’t that far off. Looking just at the symptoms and behaviors, it suggests some kind of mental illness
- [Emotional Reactions: Proceed With Caution!](https://sbscounseling.com/emotional-reactions-proceed-with-caution/) - My poor husband was struggling to keep his cool. For weeks his workload had been relentless, sprinting to meetings and pulled like a marionette in numerous directions. Just looking at him, I knew that those tired eyes and frantic movements meant that it was just a matter of time before he quit everything and ran
- [Dieting Myths](https://sbscounseling.com/dieting-myths/) - Reading all of the nutritional and dietary claims out there, I started getting small facial tics trying to make sense of it all. Some tell us to focus on protein; others say to “simply” restrict to 500 calories, then there are those who eradicate chewing all together and offer nutrition through a straw. Since no
- [Stricking Research Regarding Women and Body Image](https://sbscounseling.com/stricking-research-regarding-women-and-body-image/) - Dr. Phillippa Diedriches, from the Center for Appearance Research at the University of the West of England, recently released statistics they found in college women across several UK campuses. The research shows that in order to achieve their ideal body weight and shape: -- 30% would trade 1 year of their life -- 10% would
- [Helpful Versus Harmful Uses of Diagnoses](https://sbscounseling.com/helpful-versus-harmful-uses-of-diagnoses/) - We hear terms like "Depression" and "Bipolar Disorder" mentioned in common conversations and talk shows, but I have found that many times people are not clear about what these diagnoses really are and what these terms mean. Whether we personally struggle with symptoms or support others with these issues, education is important. The more you
- [Holiday Survival](https://sbscounseling.com/holiday-survival-2/) - I feel like November snuck up on me and I soon realized that in just a few weeks, there will be holiday get togethers and a spike in stressors. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a utility belt like Batman that gives you all you need to survive the season? You feel frantic at the
- [Tis The Season to be Triggered](https://sbscounseling.com/tis-the-season-to-be-triggered/) - Imagine that moment when you are standing on the front step of a family member’s home with the expected hot casserole in hand the family insisted is a must to honor traditions. The usual mantras start to play, “Maybe this year it can be different. We can all be on our best behavior.” “There is
- [And To All A Good Night](https://sbscounseling.com/and-to-all-a-good-night/) - I will never forget an afternoon I called my mother when I was in graduate school. Through tears and hiccups, I told her that I did not know if I could handle the pressures I was under. I was in my third semester of school with a two month old baby and felt like I
- [Avoiding Reactivity](https://sbscounseling.com/avoiding-reactivity/) - For most of us, one interaction can take us from a pleasant mood to seeing red. We know something is wrong and the need to address feels urgent. However, we rarely realize that if we act in the moment we are “hot”, we will lead a charge that could leave us embarrassed, confused, or regret.
- [COVID-19 Reactions and Grief](https://sbscounseling.com/covid-19-reactions-and-grief/) - We are in a constant state of change as the situation surrounding the COVID-19 evolves. There are many ways people are responding and it can be confusing as to why we are on such a dramatic spectrum between denial and panic. A way I have been making sense of these differences is to frame them
- [Trauma and Morality](https://sbscounseling.com/trauma-and-morality/) - In response to the PTSD article, Pastor Michael Bergman shared another type of painful struggle that may be part of the aftermath: "There is also “moral injury,” that can be connected with PTSD. Moral injury occurs when "there is a deep seated sense of transgression from violation of moral beliefs." There are feelings of shame,
- [Leaving Neverland- Part I](https://sbscounseling.com/leaving-neverland-part-i/) - A recent documentary, Leaving Neverland, has been making headlines depicting the lives of two men (Wade Robson and Jimmy Safechuck) enduring years of sexual abuse inflicted by Michael Jackson and the rippling effect it has in their lives. There are elements of the story that might be hard to relate to, living in the glow
- [Leaving Neverland Part 2: Parental Endangerment](https://sbscounseling.com/leaving-neverland-part-2-parental-endangerment/) - Continuing our 3-part series on HBO’s recent documentary Leaving Neverland (read part 1 here), this reflection deals with the phenomenon of Parental Endangerment. Most people do not realize that allowing their children to be placed in dangerous, unhealthy, or inappropriate situations is a form of abuse constituting a crime. It does not require evidence of
- [Leaving Neverland Part 3: Breaking the Silence](https://sbscounseling.com/leaving-neverland-part-3-breaking-the-silence/) - In this three part series, we are delving into a third aspect of the documentary, Leaving Neverland. Dramatic details were divulged related to Michael Jackson’s insatiable pedophilia and how it turned lives upside down. The first article highlighted grooming behaviors; the gradual process a perpetrator uses to lower a child’s defenses. A kind of brainwashing,
- [Supreme Court Ruling on Transgender Employment Rights](https://sbscounseling.com/supreme-court-ruling-on-transgender-employment-rights/) - There is a major decision currently under consideration in the Supreme Court, determining what employment rights will be provided to the known 1.4 million transgender citizens currently living in the United States. The case for gender equality is brought by the plaintiff, Ms. Aimee Stephens, who was fired after disclosing her intention to transition. In
- [Triggers and the Holidays](https://sbscounseling.com/triggers-and-the-holidays/) - I know this may be hard to believe, but not everyone is excited about spending holidays with their families. Sadly, dysfunction does not break for special occasions. There might be a relative who makes such inappropriate statements that leaves everyone in confused shock, or jealousies that lead to competition about everything from who brought the
- [Managing Anxiety During the Pandemic](https://sbscounseling.com/managing-anxiety-during-the-pandemic/) - There is a really great article at the Huffington Post that outlines some important ways to manage your distress during this unique time. It provides some needed perspective and practical ideas to implement. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/therapists-advice-patients-coronavirus-anxiety_l_5e6fb44ac5b6125e095b4134
- [Wisdom of Viktor Frankl](https://sbscounseling.com/wisdom-of-viktor-frankl/) - The COVID-19 pandemic has created a ripple effect that is unprecedented in our time. There are so many ways people are being impacted, making it difficult to find solid ground to stand on. So how do we face this in a meaningful way? How might this be a chance for us to gain perspective about
- [Grief and COVID-19: Part 2](https://sbscounseling.com/grief-and-covid-19-part-2/) - Continuing from the last article on grief, our loved ones, neighborhood, state, nation, and world are all going through an experience together. People are showing up in inspiring ways, including risking the virus to provide needed services, making homemade masks for medical facilities, and even car manufacturers building respirators. At the same time, I’ve noticed
- [Talking About Sex With Teens](https://sbscounseling.com/talking-about-sex-with-teens/) - I've recently learned about a fantastic psychologist and pioneer Karen Rayne, PhD. who has written a much needed book for parents talking about sex education with teenagers (Unhushed). She also started an organization that attempts to help educate adults about what teens need in this regard online and in person! If this could help you
- [Understanding PTSD](https://sbscounseling.com/understanding-ptsd/) - PTSD is a term that has become so overused that most people do not know its true meaning. It is usually assumed to describe the aftermath of any traumatic event. In reality, it is a relatively rare phenomenon. PTSD is a descriptor that tries to capture the painful disruption and impacts that extreme trauma can
- [One Voice](https://sbscounseling.com/one-voice/) - For some kids, it is the last month of their senior year. They've missed going to classes together and hanging out with friends, they've lost the chance to experience prom, a spring break school trip, sporting events, concerts, plays, and even had to give up the mass celebration of graduation. Yet at Arvada West High
- [Antidotes to Disappointment](https://sbscounseling.com/antidotes-to-disappointment/) - This video does a wonderful job talking about something that is a common plague in our society: dissatisfaction. This is the experience we have when a situation falls short of expectations. Instead of being able to enjoy what ended up being the reality, the experience is colored with negativity. There is a priceless scene in
- [Vote](https://sbscounseling.com/vote/) - For the values you want our country to stand for… vote. For all those people who are not able to have a voice… vote. To stand up for those harmed by bad policies… vote. To help preserve democracy… vote. To demonstrate consideration of those beyond your social circle…. vote. To make sure our representatives accurately
- [Consent Explained With Tea](https://sbscounseling.com/consent-explained-with-tea/) - I was thrilled to learn that Colorado State University requires each student to participate in a class on sexual consent before being able to participate in their community. A segment involved watching a video which covered the topic using an analogy of sharing a cup of tea. This is one of the most straightforward, user-friendly
- [October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month](https://sbscounseling.com/october-is-breast-cancer-awareness-month/) - "This may have turned my life upside down but it will never define who I am nor break my spirit." To the brave women who are fighting or have fought breast cancer- there is no question that this battle is a big deal. It seeps into every aspect of life and can challenge core beliefs
- [My Journal Entry: Silence Speaks](https://sbscounseling.com/my-journal-entry-silence-speaks/) - Topic: what would silence say if it could speak to you I have always been.... before 'God spoke' or space began to fill. I am absolute. I live between the atoms and the sound waves. I am larger than anything that has ever been or ever will be. Contained within me is not something- but
- [Hello world!](https://sbscounseling.com/hello-world/) - Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!
- [Benefits of Halloween Scares](https://sbscounseling.com/benefits-of-halloween-scares/) - It's Halloween! This is the unique time of year when people of all ages can play pretend and be something/someone totally different than who we are in our day to day lives. Then there's ..... well... chocolate. Others enjoy the ability to dabble in the stuff of nightmares. Ghosts, ghouls, zombies, and even the dark sides
- [Making the Most of Donations](https://sbscounseling.com/making-the-most-of-donations/) - It is hard to fathom the kind of devastation people are facing in Houston. There have been so many pictures and stories of people trying to wrap their heads around everything they have known and built literally washed away in just days. Many of us are looking for ways to help, with the particular
- [Deafening Silence](https://sbscounseling.com/deafening-silence/) - Over the last week I have been dumfounded by the events unfolding on the national stage. This is not due to Trump. Although his behavior has a bizarre, chaotic pattern, statements in recent days are no different than rantings he has made before. Nor am I surprised at the bigotry and hate we have seen
- [The Newest Manufactroversy](https://sbscounseling.com/the-newest-manufactroversy/) - A few days ago, there was another attack on human rights as President Trump spoke of banning transgender people from the military. With a growing number of minorities being labeled and legally stripped of their constitutional rights, this is one more assault on individual freedoms. It is a mind-boggling stance, rejecting and insulting citizens who
- [Staying Engaged](https://sbscounseling.com/staying-engaged/) - We’ve now had a week to sit with the results of the election. Whatever is your political persuasion, there is a lot of unknown regarding the political ramifications of the results. The important thing to do now is to not get comfortable or engage in what is called “slacktivism”, doing things that help us feel
- [Avoiding the "Bah- Hum Bugs!"](https://sbscounseling.com/avoiding-the-bah-hum-bugs/) - Just in case all this holiday cheer is leaving you with a desire to bite in-laws, here are a few quick tips from the good folks at Psych Center: http://news360.com/article/271069990 Meanwhile, these song lyrics seemed to truly capture the hope that I hold for you all this Holiday season. May you be filled with warmth
- [It's Not Just Hype](https://sbscounseling.com/its-not-just-hype/) - A client recently shared how frustrated and hurt she was with all the pressure she was experiencing from family and friends. Her loved ones kept telling her to stop relying on medication and do the work to overcome her mental struggles. These individuals may be well-meaning (benefit of the doubt), perhaps worried about the big
- [Addicted To Avoidance](https://sbscounseling.com/addicted-to-avoidance/) - Sometimes, life sucks. Loss, injustice, disappointment, accidents, the complete lack of tech skills (sorry hubby!)… There are inevitably hardships that come our way that cannot be reframed or bandaged. I’m not going to tell you to look at the positive, nor am I going to delude myself into thinking I’m helpful with some platitude when
- [We All Can Be Cruel](https://sbscounseling.com/we-all-can-be-cruel/) - A fascinating study was recently released that highlighted how the psychopath’s brain is wired in an unusual way. Where most of us have the ability to care and feel concern for a fellow human being, the psychopath lacks mirror neurons which control the ability to experience empathy http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-23431793. For most of us, this is hard
- [A Thought-Provoking Idea](https://sbscounseling.com/a-thought-provoking-idea/) - The following link is a brief blog about a new take on thoe who experience depression. Instead of seeing this as a form of pathology, they are suggesting that there may be another viewpoint. People struggle with depression may be able to acceptance of one's smallness and limits of control, to name a few. While I
- [The Secret To Desire](https://sbscounseling.com/the-secret-to-desire/) - The following link is a Ted Talk presented by Ester Perel, a world renown sex therapist. She has traveled to over twenty countries to gain perspective about what keeps desire alive in a long term relationship. Not only does she highlight her three major findings, she also dispells, without saying it directly, myths that lie
- [Free Opportunity About The Affordable Care Act ](https://sbscounseling.com/free-opportunity-about-the-affordable-care-act/) - Thanks to the Barb Suder, parish nurse at Holy Shepherd Lutheran Church, I can share an opportunity to learn about changes in health care. See below for details: Overview of THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT and how it effects YOU When: Saturday September 15, 2012 10:00 – Noon in the Fellowship Hall Where: Holy Shepherd Lutheran
- [Obamacare Explained](https://sbscounseling.com/obamacare-explained/) - I have recently heard some comments made reflecting ongoing confusion about what Obamacare means to the average person. This not only effects medical care but also mental health services. No longer can you be denied for having previous struggles that has been billed to the insurance under this plan! Knowing that I have a hard time
- [Brene Brown Talk](https://sbscounseling.com/brene-brown-talk/) - A great talk about how vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but an act of courage. Enjoy! http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html
- [Placebo Effect](https://sbscounseling.com/placebo-effect/) - The following is an interesting piece that aired on 60 minutes. It talks about the phenomenon of the placebo effect regarding anti-depressants, stating that medications are best served by the severely depressed rather than those with milder forms. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504803_162-57380908-10391709/how-the-powerful-placebo-effect-works/ It raises some interesting questions, with a few listed below: How do we distinguish those who
- [Renown Therapist Discloses Her Personal Diagnosis](https://sbscounseling.com/renown-therapist-discloses-her-personal-diagnosis/) - Marsha Linehan is a powerful example of how a diagnostic label does not have to be a life sentence. The article below is about a practitioner who is world renown for her work with individuals struggling with overwhelming emotions and instability. As the creater of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), she has developed a treatment modality that that helps individuals struggling with
- [A Thoughtful Approach to Holiday Eating](https://sbscounseling.com/a-thoughtful-approach-to-holiday-eating/) - The greatest defense we have against the trap of holiday overindulgence is to have a thoughtful deliberate approach.
- [Why Can't Adults Play Nicely?](https://sbscounseling.com/why-cant-adults-play-nicely/) - Everyone is not always on best behavior. We can be selfish, defensive, unfair, hurtful, and at times even cruel. For some this is relatively rare and with some heart-felt apologies and efforts to change, these moments become reminders that we are all human. For others, however, it is more than an error in judgment. It

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- [About Tania](https://sbscounseling.com/about-tania/) - I started by taking classes in counseling psychology while dabbling in Eastern philosophy with the hope of gaining different perspectives on how to relieve human suffering.
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- [Contact us](https://sbscounseling.com/contact-us/) - Contact Side by Side Counseling - 4251 Kipling Street, Suite 550, Wheat Ridge, CO 80033
- [Trauma](https://sbscounseling.com/trauma/) - Trauma has a cruel way of seeping into all areas of your life and leaving you feeling either like a raw nerve.
- [Gestalt](https://sbscounseling.com/gestalt-therapy/) - [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#FFFFFF” background_enable_image=”off” custom_margin=”||1px|||” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_5,3_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” width=”100%” max_width=”none” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https://sbscounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Gestalt-Dandelion.jpg” title_text=”Dandelion” src_tablet=”https://sbscounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Gestalt-Dandelion_mobile.jpg” src_phone=”https://sbscounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Gestalt-Dandelion_mobile.jpg” src_last_edited=”on|phone” _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”2vw|10vw||0px|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”|||10vw|false|false” custom_padding_phone=”” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” header_text_color=”rgba(191,180,178,0.57)” header_font_size=”10vw” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”] gestalt [/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″
- [EMDR](https://sbscounseling.com/emdr/) - [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#FFFFFF” background_enable_image=”off” custom_margin=”||1px|||” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_5,3_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” width=”100%” max_width=”none” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https://sbscounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/emdr-face.jpg” alt=”Anxiety Side By Side Counseling” title_text=”emdr face MOBILE” force_fullwidth=”on” src_tablet=”https://sbscounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/emdr-face-MOBILE.jpg” src_phone=”https://sbscounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/emdr-face-MOBILE.jpg” src_last_edited=”on|phone” _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px|0px||0px|false|false” custom_padding=”|10px|||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”2vw|10vw||0px|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”|||10vw|false|false” custom_padding_phone=”” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone”
- [LGBTQ+](https://sbscounseling.com/lgbtq/) - LGBTQAI experiences can be extremely unique. Does this fit for you?
- [Anxiety](https://sbscounseling.com/anxiety/) - [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#FFFFFF” background_enable_image=”off” custom_margin=”||1px|||” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_5,3_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” width=”100%” max_width=”none” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https://sbscounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/2.png” alt=”Man sitting in chair during therapy session for anxiety” title_text=”Anxiety_Patient” force_fullwidth=”on” src_tablet=”https://sbscounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Untitled-design-2-1.jpg” src_phone=”” src_last_edited=”on|tablet” _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px|0px||0px|false|false” custom_padding=”|10px|||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”2vw|10vw||0px|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”|||10vw|false|false”
- [Community Resources](https://sbscounseling.com/links/) - Find a list of curated resources that can help address trauma, depression, bipolar, anxiety and more.
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## Categories

- [Uncategorized](https://sbscounseling.com/category/uncategorized/)
- [Abuse](https://sbscounseling.com/category/abuse/)
- [Eating](https://sbscounseling.com/category/eating/)
- [Communication](https://sbscounseling.com/category/communication/)
- [Grief](https://sbscounseling.com/category/grief/)
- [Therapy](https://sbscounseling.com/category/therapy/)
- [Forgiveness](https://sbscounseling.com/category/forgiveness/)
- [Happiness](https://sbscounseling.com/category/happiness/)
- [PTSD](https://sbscounseling.com/category/ptsd/)
- [Trauma](https://sbscounseling.com/category/trauma/)
- [Anxiety](https://sbscounseling.com/category/anxiety/)
- [EMDR](https://sbscounseling.com/category/emdr/)
- [LGBTQAI](https://sbscounseling.com/category/lgbtqai/)
- [Self-esteem](https://sbscounseling.com/category/self-esteem/)
- [Self-care](https://sbscounseling.com/category/self-care/)
- [Body Image](https://sbscounseling.com/category/body-image/)
- [Depression](https://sbscounseling.com/category/depression/)
- [Relationship](https://sbscounseling.com/category/relationship/)
- [Disappointment](https://sbscounseling.com/category/disappointment/)
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