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Making Communication Even Better!

Posted: June 19th, 2017 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »

Being Able to Still Like Each Other Even When We Disagree

It can be so frustrating to try to use the core skills of communication  and still feel like the conversation is stuck.  “But I’m using eye contact, open posture, and reflections!”  It’s because they are not enough.  Communication can be a maddening, complicated mess.  Usually  both parties want to connect but walk away from the interaction feeling, at minimum, disappointed.   Luckily, the following provide ideas to go that next step.

First, let’s address a common mindset.  Most people go into a conversation wanting to be heard and believing their side is right.  If we try to convince the other that we are “correct”, the other person knows it and will respond in kind.  This is not a conversation; it is a debate.  We spend our time arguing, defending, and focusing only on  perceptions that support our side.   Each person becomes an opponent, not someone we care about.

The antidote can be summed up in one word: humility.  Most situations are not about what is right or wrong but about perspectives.  Each of us have a set of experiences that shed light on the topic.  If we genuinely want to connect, we must be open.  Listen to what is important to the other person and elements that may have been overlooked or even unknown.  As we demonstrate receptivity, we invite others to do the same.  By the end, we can walk away with more information and greater awareness of the beautiful ways we can be unique.  Here are some questions to enhance humility?

  • What do I hope to gain by asserting my view?
  • How might my view be limited? Even wrong?
  • Do these differences matter in the big picture?
  • Am I tuning in to how the other person is responding to me or am I focused on my point?
  • Am I treating the other person in the way I want to be treated?

Next, we have to be careful that common bad habits do not sabotage our intent.  For example, we have all had moments when we engage in monologues where we talk at rather than with our audience.  Then there are tangents, which can be so disconnected, we can even forget our own point! Interrupting happens so often that it almost seems normal.

The great news is that these behaviors are not set in stone but it can be difficult because they often happen when we are on autopilot.  This means the first step must be awareness.  If you had an “ah ha” moment when you read the types mentioned, you’re already on the right track. It is then important to make a commitment to change.  It may help to express the goal and practice with loved ones.  They can kindly point out when the habit is active before we can catch it ourselves.  Meanwhile, these are the new behaviors we are building towards:   work on being a listener.  Provide space for the other to share their point.  Make statements that ensure you fully understand his/her position and then add your two cents.  Stay on the main point.  Consider what elements enhance the story and what details muddy the waters.  Share in short segments.  After one or two paragraphs, check in.  Look to see if the other person is giving input or sharing empathic stories.  Be wary when the other’s body language suggests disinterest such as looking around, flat eyes, or monotone responses.  Finally, create a reasonable pace by taking time to pause and breathe.

Finally, if we truly want to connect on a personal level, the main focus must be emotion.  Emotions are the most vital information.  We can learn about personal context like history, culture, environment, and modeling that demonstrates the foundations behind a person’s views.  There are also values, meanings, needs, and vulnerabilities that have a chance to surface.  People tend to share more when they are not having to defend a position and genuinely feel like the other person cares.

“But I don’t agree with her!”  Luckily, you don’t have to.  It’s possible to be empathetic and validating and still have a different stance.  Here are some examples to show you what I mean:  “You seem stuck.”  “How frustrating!”  “It’s daunting to go through so much change.”  “You sound hopeful.”   On the surface, this may sound easy, but it is actually trickier than it looks because it is largely foreign in our culture.  We are usually mired in the details, problem solving, or responding with personal stories that take the focus off the speaker.  I’m not saying that there is not room for these responses, just make sure emotions are the top priority.

I have seen these strategies at work and can attest to their impact.  Crossed arms change to hugs and from yelling to talking.   With a little patience and a lot of practice, we can converse without needing to retreat to our corners and can become a little wiser and a little kinder in the process.


Side By Side Is Moving Up- Literally!

Posted: April 19th, 2017 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »

I’m excited to announce that the office is moving to a new suite!  Don’t worry, it is in the same building, just on the top floor.  Clients will soon enjoy expansive views of the mountains and Arvada, along with an internal waiting area!  So when you are ready to meet, come in to the suite and enjoy relaxing ambiance until I’m able to greet you.  The original move date was set for May 1st, but due to some unforeseen delays, the official opening will be May 9th.  I look forward to enjoying the new space (Suite 550) with you!


How Therapy Helps the Grieving Process

Posted: April 3rd, 2017 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »

I am delighted to respond to a request about grief.  The specific question was based on the statement from Jesus, “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.” He wanted to know how that fits with modern counseling.  This is an important question because many people see no point in examining the past.  It’s over and they just want to move forward.  This is tempting but it is shortsighted.   A void exists that must be adjusted to.  Grief allows us to recognize what this missing piece meant in our lives and invites a revision of the ways we see ourselves and the world.  Our life is a story- shaped by the people and experiences we encounter along the way.  Refusing to grieve is like forgetting whole chapters.  Although you might be able to jump in to a new section, we will not understand how your current lives are connected to the past nor how they contribute to the meanings embedded in the journey.

There is no straightforward path when it comes to therapy and grief.  Each person’s experience is unique based on numerous factors.  The amount of unfinished business, the circumstances around the loss, and the level of support are just a few examples.  Still, the following are general themes of how therapy can be valuable for getting through this tough time.

First, grief is work!  It requires more than passively experiencing our reactions, many of which are intense and overpowering.  As Bridges (2008) notes, the way we deal with change develops into a habit.  If the main tool is avoidance or minimization, this will most likely be the form of coping for every subsequent struggle.  The more we stuff it away, the more it oozes into our lives, leaving us stuck and confused.  Alternatively, if we learn to move into and through pain, those strategies will only strengthen.   We are able to move towards acceptance and the chance to let go.  Here’s where therapy comes in: we are provided with skills so that the process is made as manageable as possible and leads to heling. Not only will this help with the present crisis, it will also embolden us with tools for inevitable future losses.

Second, grief requires that we feel what we feel, as long as we need to feel it, with someone to validate us.  Sadly, most people lack one or more of these ingredients.  Consider the challenges in FEELING WHAT WE FEEL.  Sometimes not all emotions are allowed because they have been seen as destructive or disloyal.  When these emotions surface, they are either pushed away or tolerated with the added pain of guilt.  This leaves grief work incomplete.  Other times, the individual is met with hostility because his/her grief does not match what another person feels.  (Ex: what if dad was tyrant to some and loving towards others?)  Then there are losses that no one recognizes like retirement, childbirth, the death of a pet, etc.  How can one progress if there is no recognition of the validity of the whole experience?

AS LONG AS WE NEED TO FEEL IT:  There are so many misunderstandings about how long the process takes.  Some people think it should be completed in a few weeks.  Others believe a year is plenty of time.  Yet, that is rarely reality.  A year means one Christmas, one anniversary, one season, etc.  For many, the work has just begun.  In therapy, there is no pressure to be at certain stage of the work nor an expectation that the feelings have to take a predetermined course.  It is what it is for a reason, and no arbitrary rule can take into account all the complex factors at work.

WITH SOMEONE TO VALIDATE:  Not all support is the same.  The Bible has a book devoted to this in the Old Testament.  Job is a man who has lost everything.  His wealth is gone, family dead, he’s estranged from the community, and endures physical pain because his body is covered in boils.  Three “friends” visit, and offer advice.  All tell him, with varying degrees of intensity, that the suffering is punishment for his sinfulness and the only way this will end is through repentance.  Needless to say, this is not helpful and we hear that Job feels angry and attacked.  While most people do not tell someone they deserve their grief, I have heard countless stories of people hurting because of well-intended responses.  Loved ones offer platitudes, try to cheer them up, suggest quick fixes, or simply give them space (without asking if that is needed).  These bring no comfort- instead they leave the griever alone no matter how many people are in the room.  A therapist knows better.  We are ready to sit in the feelings so it is possible to feel heard and understood.  We also have tools to help- whether it is learning safe ways to express feelings, figuring out how to get unstuck, or dealing with the other parts of life that can only add to the stress.

Finally, therapists do not forget that grief evokes an examination of beliefs and the potential for a spiritual awakening.  Sometimes this is painful because long held ideas that may have been sources of comfort are falling apart.  For example, most of us have a distorted sense of control, of fairness/justice, and a hope in long-term stability.    As pain pokes holes in these ideas, we are invited to develop new, deeper understandings about life.  Eckhart Tolle states, “Underneath the lay of opposites.. is an abiding presence, an unchanging deep stillness, an uncaused joy beyond good and bad.  This is the joy of Being, the peace of God.”  (1999, p. 183).  Here there are no absolutes, so we must beware of anyone who tries to impose what this is supposed to mean.  A therapist, however, works to create room to question and in time, for new connections to emerge.

Grief is not an easy journey for so many reasons.  But it is the work necessary to be able to have peace moving into tomorrow.  Some people are able to do this without support of a therapist; others appreciate the added help.  Whatever is right for each of us, I hope we all can rest in the fact that this is a time we do not have to go it alone.

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Bridges, W.  (1980)  Transitions: Make Sense of Life’s Changes.  Reading, MA: Perseus Books p. 8

Tolle, E. (1999).  The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.  Novato, CA: Namaste Publishing and New World Library.


Sanity Through Sleep

Posted: January 11th, 2017 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »

A woman sits in my office with tears falling down her cheeks and a look of haunted desperation.  She just had her umpteenth fight with her husband, barely gets through whatever she can of the endless daily demands, and interactions with the kids feel like obligations instead of something she can look forward to.  While it’s tempting to think this is a blend of anxiety and depression, my conclusion was different, “I want you to go home and take as long a nap as you can.  Then, when you have given yourself time to have three consecutive nights of at least eight hours of rest, let’s meet again.”  Although surprised by my response, she faithfully followed my recommendation.  The next time we met, she was a different person.  “I can’t believe everything seemed so bleak.  Sleep helped me take a break long enough to see where balance was badly needed and to stop putting myself last all the time.”

With the start of the New Year, it seemed like the perfect time to begin looking at the ways we could promote a general sense of well-being and stop habits that cause emotional messes.  The best place to start is with some good old fashioned prevention.  Several key activities can help us avoid feeling like are emotions are like raw nerves, but the one that is most undervalued but has profound impact is adequate sleep.

You may not know this, but you have several phases of sleep, one part helps repair the body like tissues, muscle growth and protein synthesis.  Another phase helps with mental functioning like making sense of what we have emotionally experienced, processing what has occurred and then storing it all into usable memory.  If we are not getting enough sleep, we are preventing these vital processes from completing.

Here are a few quick questions to determine if this relates to you?

  • Are you often tired during the day or have moments of sudden sleepiness? This may mean that you have significant sleep debt- your body is like an accountant.  If it does not get what it needs, it will decrease functioning until the debt is repaid.
  • Is your weight stable or are you fighting a gain? Research shows that if you’re overtired, there is less interest in exercising or making the effort to make healthy meals.  In addition, leptin and serotonin levels decrease, which are the hormones that helps you feel full.  This means that tired people are hungrier, have lower metabolism, and crave high-fat and high-calorie foods.  In time, this can lead to obesity and type 2 diabetes!  If you want to learn more, talk with your doctor or nutritionist!
  • Do you think clearly and have good memory? Or does your brain feel a bit fuzzy and decisions-making difficult?  Jodi A. Mindell, PhD is a professor of psychology at St. Joseph’s University in Philadelphia and author of Sleep Deprived No More.  She states that there are numerous studies that show sleep deprivation “impairs your cognition, your attention, and your decision-making.” There is a substantial decrease in solving logic or math problems, and odd mistakes (like leaving your keys in the fridge) are more common” (For those of you who know me, I do misplace my keys and phone, but never my child).
  • Are you fairly resilient to the common cold or frequently sick, making you want to run from the building screaming when someone sneezes? There are a few studies that have shown that those with sleep deprivation were three times more likely to get sick than those with seven hours or more of sleep per night.  Knowing how gross Nyquil tastes, this might be worth it in and of itself!
  • Are you at risk for heart disease or hypertension? Growing evidence of research suggests that seven or less hours of sleep greatly increased coronary artery calcification- a predictor of a future heart attack.  There can also be elevated risks of hypertension, stroke, an irregular heartbeat, and heart disease.  Yikes!
  • If you have manic or unipolar depression, do your symptoms appear to be extra strong? This relates directly to the story mentioned at the start.  Sleep deprivation looks almost identical to major depression, hence the recommendation to fix the real problem, not the symptoms.  Good sleep sets up the brain for positive feelings, while deprivation has enjoyment of activities reduced and interferes with people’s social lives.  Those with sleep deprivation are also more prone to be angry or violent. (Dement, p. 274)
  • What is your quality of life? How long do you want to live?  As a final thought, three separate studies suggested that sleeping five or fewer hours per night may increase mortality risk by as much as 15 percent.10 

Most of us do not associate these struggles with sleep, but they are very real side effects.  If you want to follow Spock’s advice of “live long and prosper,” then quality sleep must be included in the plan.  So the first step in making this happen is to do your best to get at least eight hours of sleep per night.  For some of you, this might be a huge adjustment.  Just keep reminding yourself that any fears of lost productivity will be countered in gains of a refresh mind and better health.  If you are struggling to make this happen even though you are trying, the next article will address some behavioral strategies that can address the habits that promote insomnia.  In my fourteen years in private practice, I have found that these behavioral changes correct most problems without any need for medication!

Resources

http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/need-sleep/whats-in-it-for-you/health

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/between-you-and-me/201308/all-night-the-effects-sleep-loss-mood

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jsr.12413/epdf?r3_referer=wol&tracking_action=preview_click&show_checkout=1&purchase_referrer=onlinelibrary.wiley.com&purchase_site_license=LICENSE_DENIED_NO_CUSTOMER

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jsr.12413/epdf?r3_referer=wol&tracking_action=preview_click&show_checkout=1&purchase_referrer=onlinelibrary.wiley.com&purchase_site_license=LICENSE_DENIED_NO_CUSTOMER

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/between-you-and-me/201308/all-night-the-effects-sleep-loss-mood

Dement, W. C. (1999).  The Promise of Sleep.  New York, NY: Dell Publishing.

 

 


Staying Engaged

Posted: November 15th, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »

We’ve now had a week to sit with the results of the election.  Whatever is your political persuasion, there is a lot of unknown regarding the political ramifications of the results.  The important thing to do now is to not get comfortable or engage in what is called “slacktivism”, doing things that help us feel better but which have no real impact.  Consider what elements of our country that are most important to support and protect, ensuring that we are not just considering our own needs, but those of our American family as well.

Progress Now sent out a list of some wonderful organizations to consider.  Here is hoping that we each embrace our important roles as citizens and make sure we protect the valuable rights we have enjoyed but are easy to loose.

Ian Silverii info@progressnowcolorado.org wrote:

We have to stand together for what we believe in no matter what the politicians in Washington do. Colorado can be a model for fixing the problems America faces. Sign up now for rapid-response alerts to help us respond.

Once you’ve signed up for action alerts, connect with local organizations working on issues important to you. In Colorado, we have a wealth of strong public policy and advocacy groups working every day to solve problems our community faces, protect our rights, and build a prosperous future. Donate, join their lists, volunteer; we’ve got to start now…

Abortion rights: NARAL Pro-Choice Colorado is the political action leader of the pro-choice movement in Colorado. Connect with NARAL for information on abortion legislation, and take action at the state and national level to protect reproductive rights. Additionally, to learn about more great work being done to protect women’s rights in Colorado, you can also connect with the Colorado Organization for Latina Opportunity and Reproductive Rights (COLOR) and Planned Parenthood Votes Colorado.

Immigration: the Colorado Immigrant Rights Coalition is a statewide coalition of organizations to founded improve the lives of immigrants and refugees by making Colorado a more welcoming, immigrant-friendly state.

Health care policy: The Colorado Consumer Health Initiative is a statewide, non-partisan, non-profit organization working so all Coloradans can get affordable, high-quality and equitable health care.

Education: Great Education Colorado‘s mission is to drive educational excellence for all Colorado students by harnessing the power of grassroots activism, and stimulating wise investment in Colorado’s public schools, colleges, and universities.

Latino organizing: Generation Latino is organizing the collective energy, imagination and creativity of Colorado’s young Latino community and channeling our ideas into policies that will build a path to better jobs, higher wages, affordable healthcare, accessible education, and immigration reform.

Social Justice: multiple grassroots organizations are working hard to promote social justice and end the scourge of police violence against communities of color. Connect with Black Lives Matter 5280, the NAACP Colorado Montana Wyoming State Conference, Together Colorado, and the Colorado People’s Alliance.

Civil liberties and privacy: The American Civil Liberties Union of Colorado‘s mission is to protect, defend and extend the civil rights and civil liberties of all people in Colorado through litigation, education and advocacy.

Environmental protection: Conservation Colorado works with communities statewide to ensure that our quality of life, environment, and public health are protected. We work to elect pro-conservation leaders to public office and hold decision-makers accountable.

Economic policy: The Bell Policy Center produces the ideas, analysis and action that make opportunity happen–advancing the debate around family economic security and driving public policy solutions that help Coloradans get ahead and stay ahead. The Colorado Fiscal Institute provides credible, independent and accessible information and analysis of fiscal and economic issues facing Colorado.

LGBT equality: One Colorado is the state’s leading advocacy organization dedicated to advancing equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) Coloradans and their families.

Progressive communities of faith: Founded in 1998 by a group of clergy and laity to help Coloradans to put their faith into action as a force for good in public life, the Interfaith Alliance of Colorado brings together people of different faiths to drive equality, human rights, and opportunity.

Housing and homelessness: the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless has been helping the homeless for more than 30 years. CCH considers the definition of homelessness to be anyone who lacks a fixed, regular or adequate residence.

Gun safety: Colorado Ceasefire advocates for freedom from gun violence throughout the state.


Depression: More Than Just An Attitude Problem

Posted: November 2nd, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »

Every year, I am struck by how far we still have to go to learn what is going on in the depressed brain.   7.6 % of US citizens ages 12(1) and up suffer per year, and medications are unable to help at least 1/3 of those afflicted.

Part of the struggle is the sheer complexity of this phenomenon.    For example, Duman et al (2015) cited nutrition, sex sterioids, cardiovascular VEGF, stress, and the immune system all effect and are impacted by depression and anxiety.(2)   Others have noted how brain activity shifts so the sufferer struggles to remember, make decisions, and feel motivated.  The following article adds another component.  It describes how the very structures of the brain are changed, possibly minimizing the ability to recall positive memories while more strongly linked to areas associate with punishment.

http://www.sciencealert.com/scientists-say-they-ve-identified-the-physical-source-of-depression-in-the-brain

Of course, these are not taking into account the environmental factors like trauma, social isolation, stressors (like financial, employment, relationship conflict) that also play apart.  In all, I never want to forget that a sufferer cannot easily solve this problem.  Hence why therapists like myself work with the person, and sometimes a team of people, to rebuild and repair.

 

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1  http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/depression.htm

Synaptic plasticity and depression: new insights from stress and rapid-acting antidepressants, Ronald S Duman, George K Aghajanian, Gerard Sanacora, & John H KrystalNature Medicine, 22, 238–249 (2016) doi:10.1038/nm.4050  Received 11 March 2015, Accepted 21 January 2016, Published online 03 March 2016

 


The Orlando Shooting

Posted: June 16th, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »

I’m still reeling from the news in Orlando that a devastating decision led to the worst tragedy since 9-11.  Someone, fueled by justification and hatred, deemed that the lives of over 100 people no longer mattered.  The victims were people out on the town, enjoying music and friendship, when this stranger burst in and brutally murdered 49, wounded 53, and altered the lives of the survivors and loved ones forever.

Sadly, the LGBTQIA community is no stranger to violence.  Paul Brussard (killed by 10 men in Houston), Matthew Shepard (tricked, beaten, and left to die in Laramie, W), Harvey Milk (shot in California) are just a few of a long list of hate crimes.  And the transgender community has so many murders each year that they have created “The Day of Remembrance” to annually honor their deceased brothers and sisters.  As we come up on the anniversary of the Supreme Court’s decision to allow same sex marriage in all fifty states, this recent atrocity is just one more reminder that we still have so far to go before the community can ever feel safe, let alone accepted.

I hope that one day, diversity does not mean different or dangerous.  Where unfamiliar is no longer frightening but is approached with openness and warmth.  For no matter our uniqueness, we are all part of one race- the human race.  We are all part of the same family.  We should celebrate those who are bravely trying to live authentically, and cease turning the one you love into an issue.

We now must make a choice- do we now use recent events to fuel our hatred for the Muslim community?  Do we allow ourselves dangerous permission to dehumanize other people so it is gets easier to be cruel and inhumane?  Do we support institutions or doctrines that teach us that one group of people is better than another?  We must stop the contagious hate that is like a cancer.  We must stop waiting for others to take the lead and instead practice each day to work against bigotry and prejudice.  Finally, we must show solidarity with those who have been brutalized.  Please, consider making a financial contribution to a place dedicated to being a loving force to our traumatized brethren or to those organizations working to eradicate hate.

Meanwhile, may this tragedy offer us the opportunity to change.  May it bring us together, instead of apart.  May we take the challenge to make this world a safer and kinder place for all to live in.

Donation Suggestions:

Resources:


Mindfulness In a Nutshell

Posted: June 14th, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »

The following article does a great job of introducing us to mindfulness, noting some key benefits and complementary exercises:  http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2016/01/mindfulness/.  Some people get intimidated by the term, envisioning success only by donning a monk’s cloak and meditating for years in a cave.  It does not have to be that way, there are levels of practice and intensity that can range from general stress management to spiritual awakening.  

For those people who want to take a break from the frantic pace and constant noise of our day to day lives, brief meditation is a wonderful tool.  It encourages deep breathing and focused attention, reconnecting us with our bodies, the present, and the rhythm of this life-giving action.  Counting, visualizations, and calming phrases also distract us from nagging pressures that can keep us escalated.  By the end, it’s like the mind’s reset button has been pushed, and we have fresh perspective and a greater sense of center.

There are others who hope to take this a step further, working to become less mired in the constant stream of thoughts that are as persistent as a stalker.  Through specific exercises, a skill is created to observe the inner world with more detachment.  Instead of being controlled by the thoughts and the corresponding emotions, we can consider the health and value of what we see.  It is then possible to determine how the information can help us find positive trajectories and cease reckless reactivity and defensiveness. 

Finally, mindfulness has the ability to change the way we see and approach our life and those we encounter.  It is a spiritual practice, where one has long gaps where the thoughts are quiet, allowing one to tune in to what if feels like to just “be”.  This opens the way for connection to be felt with all living things, creating a blend of humility, gratitude, and contentment.  The ego has little importance here- instead, the focus is on how to be a positive influence in the world, using a sense of peace, wisdom, and compassion.

What you decide to aim for is whatever works for you.  Hopefully the article above can be a welcome introduction and give you a taste of something that could be a powerful balm for the challenges that come with each day.


Trans-Phobia and the Dangerous Legislation You Should Know About

Posted: April 12th, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »

There was a recent segment on The Daily Show that had a fantastic piece on aspects of being transgender.  Some elements were subtle, like Trevor Noah not falling for the common trap of asking Angelica Ross about her genitalia, but instead treating his guest like a three-dimensional human being.  But there was also a segment provided by Jessica Williams that highlighted the daily bigotry they have to endure.  Please watch April 6th’s episode:

http://www.cc.com/full-episodes/1b9vdp/the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-april-6–2016—angelica-ross-season-21-ep-21087

One important element not stated was that this community is constantly at risk for hate crimes without these policies.  Blazer noted that every third day a trans person is murdered.  Hate crimes released by the FBI in November 2015 gave a startling report stating that hate crimes tripled between 2013 and 2014.  In fact, this is such a painful reality for trans people that each year on November 20th, there is a sobering ceremony called the Day of Remembrance to honor those brothers and sisters who died under these circumstances in the last year.

This means that safety is one of the most important aspects a trans person must be constantly vigilant about.  “Passing”, or the ability to blend in with cisgender majority (people whose gender identity matches their biology at birth) is crucial. Imagine having to be a trans male forced to walk into a woman’s bathroom with a beard, or a trans woman having to use the men’s bathroom wearing a dress.   We are either asking individuals to have bladders of steel so they can “hold it” until they are home, or being instantly outed to a community we already know is hostile.

For those worried that this puts others at risk, there are no statistics supporting this.  Gender identity is separate from sexual deviance like pedophilia, voyeurism, or assault.  Nor is it linked to sexual orientation.  They aptly state in the segment that just because you have a job, like the priesthood, or an identity like being a feminist, republican/democrat, etc. does not mean there are inherent mental health issues.  And in case anyone quotes former diagnostic manuals, realize that the American Psychiatric Association has evolved enough to no longer consider gender dysphoria a disorder.  It is a therapeutic issue because, like other quests about self-esteem and identity, so therapists can help lessen the discomfort they feel every day.

These individuals want what most people want- to live in a world where they can be themselves, be safe, and to be happy.  Please do what you can to help make that possible, whether it is through political activism to educating yourself so you can be a compassionate person to those who need to be welcomed.

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Resources:

 Balzer, Carsten (2009). “Every 3rd day the murder of a trans person is reported” (PDF)(3).


Kava: Warnings About This Anti-Anxiety Supplement!

Posted: January 28th, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | No Comments »

A local doctor recently share that the common herb used for anxiety, Kava, needs significant caution and doctor’s oversight.  Based on recent research, it not only has risks like impacting the effectiveness of birth control, some users have had liver damage in there have even been deaths.

We must be aware that just because something is a supplement/herb, does not automatically make it safe.  The Diet Supplement Health and Education Act of 1994 means that these products are not regulated to insure consistency and purity.  In addition, these plants are medicines that create a chemical reaction within the body.  One needs an understanding of individual history, potential interactions, genetic factors, and research to ensure that a consumer has all the information to make an informed decision.  I highly recommend doing research before introducing something into your system, and consulting your doctor before you decide.  Health is precious- let’s do all we can to protect it.

Supporting articles:

http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-and-supplements/features/risky-herbal-supplements?page=2

https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/is-kava-safe/



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Tania Henderson
M.A., L.P.C., N.C.C.